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Original poster

Tell me if this a red flag?

47 replies

Surepillow · 12/11/2015 20:51

I met a lovely man at a mutual friends birthday a couple of weeks ago. We exchanged numbers.

He then proceeded to text me every day for 6 days, and we met up on the 7th day. He text me after the date to say he'd had a great time. The following day he contacted me and asked if I wanted to go out again (this Sunday lunchtime). I said yes.

The next day he text me again, (last Sunday), and we had a nice chat. But I've not heard from him since. Is this a red flag? I don't get why he would take the initiative to speak to me so much then after the date, tell me he had a great time and arrange another one, but then not speak to me at all?! Does this even mean this Sunday lunch date is on? Why contact me so much then suddenly stop?

Maybe it's a red flag?

OP posts:
kateshair · 12/11/2015 20:57

Text him and ask him.

Ladygaggia · 12/11/2015 20:57

Text him?
Could be one of a hundred reasons. I wouldn't play the guessing game.
Just say hi, haven't heard from you, looking forward to Sunday!
And then see what comes of it.

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 20:59

He won't say 'oh I just lost interest' or 'I'm a bit of an arse' though will he.

I duno about texting him. If he wants to see me he will text surely? Odd because a friend of a friend said he was really decent and respectful to women and he certainly seemed that way on the date. Wasn't expecting this ..

OP posts:
unicorn501 · 12/11/2015 21:05

Why don't you text him? Just say 'how's your week going?'

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:07

Because now I'm wondering why the intensity before the date and not now? Maybe he's not that sincere

OP posts:
Ladygaggia · 12/11/2015 21:07

Don't let him do all the chasing.
It's only polite to show reciprocal interest in my opinion.

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:10

Lady, do you think that's reason for his silence?

OP posts:
Joysmum · 12/11/2015 21:11

Have you ever taken the initiative? Could be he thinks you're not that interested if he's the one setting the pace all the time.

Ladygaggia · 12/11/2015 21:12

Listing all the possible reasons why he might not have texted...

  1. Realised he was coming on too strong
  2. Wondered why he was doing all the chasing and decided to see whether you would bother to contact him if he didn't text you
  3. Suffers from stress/ depression/ anxiety
  4. Isn't all that in to you after all
  5. Broke his texting hand
  6. Is out of the country
  7. Someone pinched his phone
  8. Has the worse migraine and can't look at the phone
  9. Had a head injury and has forgotten who you are

I could go on...

Doesn't help though

Text him!
Lol

Offred · 12/11/2015 21:12

Could be but hard to tell.

He might have freaked himself out with the intensity and have told himself to back off.

How did the intensity bit feel to you? Were you comfortable with it?

Could you ask him on Sunday? You can tell better how someone feels in person I think.

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:14

I liked the intensity. I liked him too! I did say before we met that we had talked more than I usually would with someone at this point... He apologised and I said don't be sorry and said I liked it! But suppose it may have had an effect.

If I see him on Sunday i will definitely ask.

Don't know if Sunday is still on!! Lol

OP posts:
Ladygaggia · 12/11/2015 21:15

Sounds similar to a date I've had recently, declared he was smitten - them went quiet, then monosyllabic, then opened up to me that he was ill and on anti-ds

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:15

And no I've never once contacted him first joy.

OP posts:
Intheprocess · 12/11/2015 21:15

OP, how often have you texted him out of your own initiative? Maybe he's starting to wonder if you're really that interested in him.

unicorn501 · 12/11/2015 21:15

I think, if you want to know then just text him. A light, non committal chatty text asking about his week. If he replies straight away and is keen to chat you'll know he's still interested. If he doesn't... Well at least you'll know!

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:16

Intheorocesss I've never contacted him first... I didn't have chance to really lol.

OP posts:
Intheprocess · 12/11/2015 21:16

Cross post. OP I think you're right, maybe he's worried he'll put you off.

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:19

I think I'm scared of rejection because I like him so much. Don't like wondering why he hasn't contacted me.

Your right tho. Only way to find out is to ask

OP posts:
celtictoast · 12/11/2015 21:19

Text and say what Ladygaggia suggests. He might be really pleased to hear from you.

Robotgirl · 12/11/2015 21:20

Oh just bloody text him already!
Life's too short to sit around overthinking things OP Wink

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:21

Right. I've sent a text message. No reply yet.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 12/11/2015 21:23

Maybe he's waiting for to contact him first, for a change.

Original poster
Surepillow · 12/11/2015 21:25

I wish I hadn't now! No text back.

OP posts:
Ladygaggia · 12/11/2015 21:27

If he doesn't respond it could still just mean suggestions 6-9

I hate the not knowing, especially if during the waiting time you realise that you are actually rather keen after all!

Robotgirl · 12/11/2015 21:28

Hide your phone. Occupy yourself with something.