Don't know why I'm so down really. I'm dreading Xmas. My dad died in August and it's my first without him. My ex left us 18 months ago, it's been acrimonious ever since. He says it's his turn to have our ds's this year. Tonight he informs me he wants to take them to visit his family 300 miles away in run up to Xmas, bring them back Xmas Eve and take them again Xmas day. I can't face it all. I feel exhausted and sad and hopeless. There's no joy in my life, only my boys and he's taken my family from me. I really hate him. Why did he want a family with me only to screw around and leave me in this mess forever more?