mother never rings me. Is it time to just stop mentioning it?

[whostheJohnsonnow]

This is probably massively petty in the scheme of things, but it's playing on my mind...

I've lived in London for nearly five years now. I'm originally from the North East, so parents aren't exactly up the road.

In the past year there has been a massive tailing off in the number O times my mother calls me. I've mentioned it a few times (sometimes in tears) but nothing changes. For example...I went back home for a funeral five weeks ago, and I've spoken to her once since then (I rang her)

I know I'm a big girl and all that, but I feel really rejected that my own family never want to speak to me. They always say they are happy to see me when I go home, but I feel like they forget me the minute I walk out of the door.

It's probably pathetic of me to feel so sad about it, but I was wondering if anyone else can relate? (or give me a slap ??)

Your mother sounds quite hard-hearted, if she knows how much this one-sidedness upsets you, but then does absolutely nothing about it.

From my observations, I do think some insecure mothers like family members always going to them and phoning them etc. It's like the insecure Queen Bee syndrome. Could this apply to your mother?

You cry at her because she doesn't call you? You both sound as emotionally manipulative as each other. No wonder you "rub each other up the wrong way", you're too similar.

"Do you have a tendency to be easily offended perhaps? Surely, the main thing is that you keep in touch with your mum?"

I thought that once one is an adult one should look out for one's parents, not the other way around. Your mother did her job when she had you and raised to adulthood, she doesn't owe anything else.

A lot of people come on mumsnet to complain about their mothers phoning them too often, maybe she has been reading those threads.

I agree with those saying expectations can be that the parent always does everything when really adult children should at least make it a two way street looking after each other wise.
The only reason that it would matter is if you honestly feel your mother does not want you to call her. Is that what you feel? If so, think why... Do you not get along, do you argue on the phone or be irritable? At the end of the day if you don't get on very well phone calls could be a bit difficult.

My mother never rings me either.

I wait it out to see how lomg it will be - then feel like a crap daughter and ring her only to get "sorry? Who are you"

Sigh