Do I ask ex for closure or simply move on?

[OiledBegg]

My ex bf and I split 9 weeks ago. We didn't split because we fell out of love or someone cheated. He has depression on and off and suddenly said he didn't deserve me and couldn't give me what I wanted (children in the future, etc). So he walked away, even though just the day before we'd been talking about living together.

We didn't have any contact for a month, then he text me saying he'd been an idiot. We've messaged a few times, him mainly sounding very self-pitying and sorry for himself saying he'll always love and protect me etc. He then messaged the other day to wish me a nice holiday.

I was/am utterly devastated he broke up with me, he just pushed me away. Anyway, I feel 'stuck' in the moving on process and although he's the one who ended it 9 weeks ago I still hold a glimmer of hope that he's maybe having second thoughts, hence the contact. I am debating whether to text him and ask if he is still certain there is no way back for us. I feel I need him to confirm it to me, so I can draw a line under it once and for all, and then remove him from FB and delete his phone number.

Am I being ridiculous?

What would you really gain from this? If he said 'maybe' could you trust that you won't be right back here again some time in the future. If he said 'one day' would it mean you put your life on pause?
It doesn't sound like you're looking for closure but for hope..
Perhaps closure might lie in you if it is what you want. You could take back the power you're giving to him and decide that actually, despite having feelings for him, it's not what you need to be in a relationship where you won't be able to be sure of where you are with him...

I agree with chaos . I think the idea of getting closure is nice, but ultimately, you need to make peace with yourself and not look for it in him. You're not being ridiculous to want it, but I think actively seeking it from him will only end up in a quagmire of emotion that won't be helpful to you. As difficult as it is, disengage, delete and move on.

Thanks you two. I have a horrible feeling you're right and I'm looking for hope

I have been in a very similar situation to this.
I've even posted on mumsnet for advice.
My advice would be to (somehow) move on, focus on yourself, your friends, your life. When your ready delete his number and take him off Facebook / Twitter.
I hung on and shouldn't have its a big regret of mine. He couldn't commit to me because of the depression and couldn't talk about the depression or even get help for the depression.
Do you mind me asking how long you were together? Have you got friends who can sit with you on the nights you just want to text him?
I found keeping busy really helped and telling my brother whenever I wanted to talk to my ex.
because this is a really shitty situation to be in.