Frequently called phone number on DH's phone account

[janaus]

OK, I want opinions please.

Posted before about finding out about DH's "fling" by looking at his phone bill, frequently called numbers. "Lyn" / "Wally" contact on his phone.

After 8 weeks in the spare bedroom, we had a weekend away, and I decided to give it another go.

Only thing I am still obsessing over the phone bills going back years. Calling random numbers to see if man or woman answers.

He promised there had been no other flings or affairs over the past.

So, looking back quite a few years ago. I noticed a number that was called A LOT ... late at night, early mornings. Few times a day, this only went on for about 2 months.
So I called the number, and a woman answered, and I hung up.
Funny thing, the number is so close to my number, I almost thought it was my own number.

Now, my dilemma, do I let it go, it was so long ago.
OR do I contact the woman.

Do people think that a woman would give a truthful answer if asked if she had been having it off with my DH?

If it was from years ago I'd forget about it. You've decided to give things another go so start from scratch forget about the past and try and make a future together, obsessing over phone bills years old really isn't helping. If you can't get passed his fling then you need to question whether it's the right decision to give it another go.

I'd want to know too. In fact I'd have to know, so I was making an informed choice about whether to stay with this man.

If he hasn't been 100% honest with you, you have to ask yourself whether you can live with someone who has continued to lie to you, even when caught out.

It sounds to me like you know he's lying, the looking for evidence is just you validating your instinct.

Only you can really decide. However, when I decided to forgive my oh, it was a decision to draw a line under the past. I did not need or want to know any more than I already did. I just wanted to move forward.

However, you have to truly believe he won't do anything like that again. And you have to truly forgive and trust again.

People do change there number s so you cant be sure after all this time.

Who's called this a "fling", you or DH? Imo a fling is what someone does when they're predisposed to cheating rather than getting carried away in one specific situation. I'd be suspicious about the previous phone calls too.

BUT if you want to try again then you do need to draw a line under this and start afresh. If you still don't trust that he's telling you the truth then you can't live in paranoia like this, you'll just be delaying the inevitable split and it'll drive you crazy along the way.