I am 27 and he is 25.
We have been together 3 years, married for 2 years.
Despite knowing that he was emotionally abusive 2.5 years ago and things got physical twice. I married him. He was truly remorseful for what he did and I could see that he was making progress on solving his anger issues. But he wasn't out of the woods.
I never fully happy in this relationship/marriage and I had an affair 8 months ago. I moved out 8 months ago.
At first we agreed on working on things. After 1 counselling, he seemed deflated. Things were ok for 7 months and we managed to have some good times. But we never seriously talked about working on things because it seems that he was not serious about it, despite that he told me he loves me everyday and wants to be with me forever.
2 months ago I couldn't stand it anymore and told him maybe we should get a divorse. He agreed at first then shortly said that he just needed more time and suggested we keep a distance from each other.
I find it equally hard to salvage this marriage. I feel that he isn't willing to fight for it. And because of his anger issues, I don't feel truly happy with him anymore. We can't even have a proper conversation without him shouting at me.
He told almost all of his friends and family about my infidelity. He said he was sad so he needed to tell everyone. Now his mum hates me and wouldn't speak to me. He told me his mum even made a joke about how he couldn't find anyone better so he ended up with me.
I feel so so so exhausted. I knew I made a terrible mistake but I am not in contact with the guy anymore and am 100% willing to make up for my mistakes. But it seems that a divorse is the only solution