Lying awake all night crying. Anyone else?

[Fluffybrain]

I've been lying awake for the last 4 hours. Just got up and had some headache pills and cup of tea. Just been crying about how ugly and unwanted I am. I thought recently that I might be able to convince myself I am getting better but I'm not. Why does no one want me? Why do men enjoy hurting me? Why am I always rejected? The answer must be that I am hideously ugly and boring. Anyone else ever felt like this. Did it ever stop or is this just my life now.

Aww, love. and I've felt like this after my husband cheated on me, after we split up, and I had 0 self-respect. I remember crying into the mirror and just loathing myself. I went for date after failed date, slept with men thinking they'd stay around, not realising what an easy shag I was being. It was a horrible time. I finally snapped out of it when I decided I just wanted to be happy and if that meant on my own then so be it. My whole menality changed, I started feeling, well, happy. I started getting fit, taking up invites to fun things with mates, and eventually met DH. God that seemed ridiculously long to just say to to please realise that a lot of it is shifting your mindset. And this is temporary. Here if you want
to chat.

Thanks Saga. That's what I feel so frustrated about. I came to the same conclusion. I'm doing everything I can. Anti depressants, therapy, seeing friends, lost nearly 4 stone, trained in new career, learning to drive. And yet stil here I am thinking about how ugly I am and how I am always rejected ignored cheated on or passed over for other women. I am tired of trying and not feeling better.

It sounds like you've had a bad time but I honestly don't think being cheated on or treated poorly is related to your looks. It's more to do with the men being twats than it is to do with you. If someone is a knobber, then they are a knobber. No matter whether you have had your eyebrows threaded or what size your arse is.

It's a cliche but focus on yourself. Have fun with friends rather than worrying about relationships.

What Rita said. It won't be about your looks, it's about meeting the right person, who respects you. This can take some time, especially if, like me, you have a faulty knobhead detector.

Thanks Rita, you made me laugh. I do indeed have a faulty knob head detector. Frightened to do online dating again due to all the weirdos and worried I will get another knob head. I don't have any opportunity to meet men in real life so I think I'm just going to be alone now. Pretty pissed off about that as I virtually had no relationship with my XH so have ended up celibate most of my life. Have gone through major upheaval to change that but still I am alone and celibate.

Fluffy I've PM'd you, hope that's ok.