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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

tell me I don't NEED a man

23 replies

Belle89 · 09/11/2015 15:28

Split up from partner about a month ago, well he left me lol. I think he is giving things ago with his daughters mum.
Just having a real down day today, missing him feeling like I need to contact him and tell him. Someone talk some sense into me please x

OP posts:
ReadFox · 09/11/2015 15:31

You don't... the man who will make you happy is not the one who's walking away from you ignoring you.

I've just walked away from a man who wanted sex but not a relationship and it felt hard but I'm reminding myself of a weekend away in two weeks, the exams I'm about to take, the next goal, and job-hunting in the new year. I've just ordered how to win friends and influence people from amazon. I always achieve more when I'm not even trying to date/have a relationship.

shovetheholly · 09/11/2015 15:37

Turn the phone off and put it in a very, very high and inaccessible place. Or, better still, get some of your friends round and give it to them! And then go and have a drink at the pub after work, or watch Parks and Recreation together, or do something NICE that makes you feel good about yourself.

You do not need a man! Especially not this tosspot who has passed up his chance with you. You're worth so much more than he thinks!

RiceCrispieTreats · 09/11/2015 15:44

You don't need a man!

  • Love and companionship and human connection are wonderful things, but you can get them from plenty of non-romantic relationships. Cultivate those!
  • You certainly can't obtain love and companionship and human connection from that man who's just walked away from you, so there's nothing to regret there!
DioneTheDiabolist · 09/11/2015 15:46

You don't need a man. Being single is being free to do what you want, when you want to. Even the best of men expect you to talk/listen to them at some point.

Original poster
Belle89 · 09/11/2015 16:16

You ladies are the best Thanks I know I need to just focus on my son and should be happy with what I've achieved, decent job and at college but sometimes you just need to hear it. Have talking my dad into taking me along to clay pigeon shooting at the weekend trying to keep occupied x

OP posts:
Seeyounearertime · 09/11/2015 16:23

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"
Grin

RiceCrispieTreats · 09/11/2015 16:42

Clay pigeon shooting with your Dad sounds offbeat and great!

Original poster
Belle89 · 09/11/2015 17:36

Something I've never done before Smile Will be an achievement to hit anything at all but looking forward to it

OP posts:
Shouldknowbetter2015 · 09/11/2015 17:39

You can be happy on your own! I'm just getting used to being by myself (again!), only this time the penny has well & truly dropped & I've realised i don't need a man to make me happy. I adore my 2 dc & we have loads of fun together. Enjoy your ds! You will manage :)

DaggerEyes · 09/11/2015 17:41

Perhaps sticking some printed out photos of a certain mans face onto the clays will help you, therapeutically.

RedMapleLeaf · 09/11/2015 18:31

This is what my year has been about - learning to live and enjoy the single life again. I have one question and one suggestion.

Q) What do you think you need a man for?

S) Paul McKenna's I Can Mend Your Broken Heart.

Original poster
Belle89 · 10/11/2015 07:27

Think it's the cuddles on the sofa ect that I miss the most in the evenings very silly I know.

OP posts:
RedMapleLeaf · 10/11/2015 07:41

I don't think it's silly (it's one of the things I missed at first).

DrMorbius · 10/11/2015 12:01

I've just ordered how to win friends and influence people from amazon

Wow that takes me back 25 years!! You may want something more contemporary than a 70 year old book (no doubt rehashed)!

DearFox · 10/11/2015 12:39

It arrived. I'm going to start reading it now. There's another one about job hunting. I HOPE it's been edited and revised! Shock I was assuming it ahd been.

51howdidthathappen · 10/11/2015 12:45

I tried clay pigeon shooting a few years ago. I was crap. It was huge laugh, even I was the entertainment !

WhatsGoingOnEh · 10/11/2015 13:15

How to Win Friends... is still the very best book I've ever read. The examples and text are timeless. It's genuinely life-changing. I re-read it every 5 years or so to remind myself of the principles -- when you stop following the advice, your life definitely changes for the worse.

Good for you! I love that you are flinging yourself into self-improvement. Such a fun, positive hobby.

DearFox · 10/11/2015 13:22

oh good! I'm glad you think it's timeless. I have a four hour plane journey soon so I will read as much as I can then.

DearFox · 10/11/2015 13:23

ps Blush I'm not the OP though Wine

I do have a habit of recommending books that have helped me though....

Original poster
Belle89 · 10/11/2015 19:46

Shall look the book up Smile Thank you for the recommendation x

OP posts:
Original poster
Belle89 · 24/11/2015 21:04

Such an idiot been doing so well got used to the idea. Then had a message from his ex (mother of his child) via fb. Slagging him off ect ect. Text him (there's been court cases ect) just saying I don't want t to be contacted by anyone and that's not my issue. Well Iv text his every day since for the last week! What I'm hoping for I don't know. Think with Xmas round the corner I'm just thinking wouldn't it be lovely. Grrr so mad with myself. And to top it all off he will be at my work place for a few days in a week or two carrying out maintenance and I will have no choice but to see him.

OP posts:
LadyofDunedin · 24/11/2015 21:16

Hey belle
You defo don't need one. The way I see it is; you want one, you don't need one.
I find generally I'm more 'me' without them, more balanced, relaxed - maybe I just haven't met the right one!

SweetPotato1 · 25/11/2015 14:42

Belle89,

I'm a guy, and I know we're not just for Christmas, but as you said, it would be lovely, so why not go OLD and get one?! If nothing it'll be a distraction from missing your ex.

Alternatively, you're a strong independent woman and you don't need no man :)

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