Back in Feb my sis FINALLY left a very emotionally abusive and passive aggressive long term boyfirend with ALOT of daily support and help and talking from me.
I'm talking daily sobbing phone calls, emotional texts at night. For months afterwards constantly supporting her (emotionally, physically, financially) not to go back.
About 3-4 months ago she started up a FWB type relationship with a guy at work. He has turned out to be a total dick. Majorly fucked up himself. Serious issues surrounding trust and intimacy, vulnerability etc.
If they are messaging and she says something he doesn't like he will say 'block?' And if she doesn't apologise or show remorse he will block her on what's app for however long he feels is warranted.
She found out last week that she has just miscarried his baby. He asked her 'how did YOU get pregnant in the first place?' And would accept no responsibility. He then refused to speak to her for 2 days. When he 'came around' after the 2 days he told her he was shock. Never asked how she was etc.
She basically said 'too little too late' and his response was 'block?' And then he did.
Sis has spent the first few days feeling strong and resolved not to have any contact. But is now back to waiting and hoping for his attention. She knows (because I very bluntly tell her) what an asshole he is and that she should walk away. But she CHOOSES not to. Then expects to call/text me with constant questions etc obsessing about him and 'waiting to see if he will message her'.
Tbh, I'm exhausted by it all and pissed off. She continually chases down these wankers and gets herself addicted to them and refuses help but uses me to offload when they fight by saying all the stuff that she can't say to him to me instead.
But I feel bad giving up on her. I want to help away from him but she isn't interested in that. She just says 'I know' and then carries on.
AIBU to just stop giving advice and support and just always say 'OK' etc. If I do she will eventually stop talking to me I know that. But at the same time, I have my own problems (that she never engaged with btw, so this seems to work one way only) and 2 small DC who need my time emotion and attention.
Sorry for length! Well done for reading it all!