sister doesn't want me becoming friends with new sis in laws control issues?

[Katarzyna79]

I have 2 new sis in laws. one of them was coming over every wknd we are the same age and although she has more traditional values we get on. I thought ww were getting on well until i told my older sister told me to keep a distance. We have had a sister in law in past who ripped the family apart living a double life so my sis told me not to get too chummy be polite but remain distant.

However i recenrly learnt shes inviting them to hers the last few wknds this could be coincidence, but she keeps it a secret from me but tells all my siblings. recently we had big family gathering 60 close family members she didnt ask me to help, when i got to hers she told mw she got sis in law over to help.

I guess i feel hurt by my sisters actions am i over thinking this? She tells me dont get tooclose like u would with best friends but her actions show shes doing jist that.

I have a 2nd new sis in law i thought should invite over for nice lunch and get toknow each other.mysis was on phone when she got wind said 1st sis in law might come iover make extra food i thought no she cant decide lunch plans for mw my house, my sis can be bossy in underhand way.thought why i didnt invite them,seemed odd thing for her tosay .then my bro whose coming over with his new wife(2nd sis in law)asked me if sis in law coming i said no exclusive invite for him to get to know his wife. My big bro then phoned saying hes popping over we said we had guests he still insisted citing work so cant come later. Usually they comw late evening never during the day.

I donf know why but these events have lwd me to believe my sister is making a wedge between me and my sis in laws she doesnt want me knowing them exceptformally, yetits ok for her to get chummy why? Shes 10 yrs older thsn me akways been bossy controlling but mature ive never seen this side of her. ive been living on the other end of the uk i think moving away again would be good because i feel like shes trying to control me now i dont want to fall out with her. Or am i being silly about this?

I intially moved because my husbands family very traditoonal asian family always falling out over how things should be done on certain ocassions ie on x day in year meant to give everyone new outfits even if each is min 80-100 and 6 ppl to buy for and we r on minimum income struggling.hubby said dont care about traditions if i can afford iti will if not ill give something in my means or just have familymeal. This never went down well with his bro in law so we thght distance best thing and it was, now my own sis iscausing aggro i just dont need this.

Its not just sis in law issue she sends me texts never calls coz i willconfront her?, telling me what i should and shouldnt do? Im 35 not 5 yrs old. She does this with all my siblings they seem to adhere even if its bad advice . To the point theycantmake decisionsno morealways say dunno illhave toaskbig sis first for her verdict wtf? They are from 25-42 yrs old????

Whats deal any psycho analysts here?

It's obvious by her actions that she's trying to exclude YOU from family relationships. She doesn't have the right to tell you who you can or cannot be friends with.

She's playing games with you. Wants to be the 'number one', the most important one. She's probably also chatting shit about you behind your back to the others hence why they're 'backing off'. For all you know she could be playing that game where she tells you to back off from them, then when you do she uses that as 'proof' to others that YOU have an issue with your sil's. It's sneaky, underhand, manipulative and vindictive behaviour.

i would ignore her. Carry on inviting your sil's over and developing a relationship with them. If you feel people are being funny with you then ask them straight out what the problem is. Get it all out into the open....and don't invite her along when you arrange to meet your sil's cos she will only make it all about herself.

she's in competition with you. maybe she feels jealous of you - could be for a number of reasons and none of them need be rational or logical. Maybe she feels insecure in herself and has to put others down a peg in order to make herself feel better?

to be honest it just sounds like she's got her head so far up her arse she thinks her shit smells likes roses.

thanks for the response i am upset its come to this i used to confide in her a lot but my husband warned me not to he obviously saw something i couldnt, it hurts to say ihave to have a distant relationship with her we usee to be so close or so i thought.