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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really need some help

4 replies

chanelly24 · 07/11/2015 14:48

Hey I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 28 and I really need your help to tell me where I'm either going wrong or just some advice.We have been together 2 1/2 years and I just don't feel like the relationship is going anywhere. His background is that he had bad relationships in the past and his parents divorce when he was a kid really let to the issues in our relationship.

He wants to take things really really slow and has a time line for when we will get married,have kids etc but I'm not happy with it. We have almost broken up because of his lack of compromise and it's gotten to the point where I am very hurt and scarred from this experience. I don't trust when he says well get married and have kids because he always gets in such a panic if things don't go his way. It's come to the point where I'm pulling back from the relationship. I was meant to move in with him last year but I didn't as we didn't see eye to eye on things,I was then meant to move in this January but I changed my mind.

I just don't trust when he says well end up having a family that we will and I always feel it'd his way and that I've had to compromise on everything I've wanted. He asked me when I wanted kids and I said 26. I know some of you will say what's the rush but that's how I feel and it doesn't help that I'm a children's nurse. He said he wouldn't be ready in 2 years but maybe 3. However I knew he was lying and I eventually got it out of him that he wanted to be in his mid 30s which he knows is too long for me to wait. It's not that he's not ready it's the fact that he lies about it.

This is my 1st relationship and I'm just all over the place. I go from being so in love with him to resenting him but I never end it. But then I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. My mum says I'm rushing too much and that I shpull trust him but that's easier said than done.

I guess I just want some advice, about whether I should just move on. Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
chanelly24 · 07/11/2015 14:50

Or if I really am being unreasonable

OP posts:
TaintForTheLikesOfWe · 07/11/2015 14:57

Trust your gut. He is being controlling. If he won't discuss or compromise even a little bit now, he will be ten times worse if you get married and have DC. Don't. Move on. Kiss a lot of frogs in your quest for a prince Grin

springydaffs · 07/11/2015 14:59

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable if that helps.

Lying is a killer. So is a total lack of compromise.

OhDearMuriel · 07/11/2015 15:35

Shame on him for lying to you about something so important.

If you have feelings of resentment now, they will only get worse.

He's out for himself and I think you should find someone who deserves you and wants the same things.

Take my hat off to you for not moving in with him and 'hoping' that things would change.

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