Just had huge row - he won't go to school play!

[ginnedupmummykissingsantaclaus]

I'm so fed up with my dp today, I could f**ing scream.
Dp is a roofer and got rained off today so he went off this morning to sort some things out. Basically he's bought a transit van that needs a new engine so he went off looking for one and someone to fit it etc.
Its ds1's school play at 2pm today and he said he'd try and be back in time to see it.
He's just phoned me and said he's sorted the engine but is looking for his mate to fit it. He's having a pint in the pub the mate usually drinks in but he's not there so he's left a message and now he's going to another pub to see if he's there. This mate of his never has his mobile switched on so he can't phone him.
I'm so pissed off, it feels like he doesn't want to go to the play but would rather sit in the pub instead.
He's not my dc's father and their real father is away this week so he will miss the play anyway, He wants to be like a dad to them but can't spare an hour away from the pub to see ds1 in the school play.
He just said he's trying to sort the van out for us so he can get more work etc and made me feel guilty for asking him to come back.
Now he says he'll try and come home in time but can't promise anything, but I just feel so disappointed and pissed off with him.

He would rather be at the pub is the honest truth.

I'd be furious... and that's an understatement!

I know and I am! Of course he'd rather be at the pub and I know they are not his kids so he doesn't have to go but he wants to be there dad when it suits him, but doesn't want to do the things he doesn't want to.

In fact I think I'd say if you're not there at x time then don't bother coming home (ever) and I'd bloody well mean it as well.

If it hadn't been raining he wouldn't have been going anyway he would be working - so your ds isn't expecting him - am I right?

So, as long as when your ds scans the audience to see a familiar face he will see you and be happy - it would be worse if no-one was there.

You know your dp and if it is an excuse just to be having a pint, but if he is just having a pint to try and catch a friend to help him so he can do a job and put more money in the family coffers - then that's not a bad thing is it?

Some men are often crap at realising the importance we attach to actions - so perhaps he is just being a bit crap?

is a shame the pub and the van more important than seeing the look on DSs face when he sees him in the audience...only you know if he is really looking for his mate, or using it as an excuse to drink a couple of pints......

if he was sorting the van, it could wait an hour, rather than waste the time on a pub crawl, he could leave a message on his mate's phone, watch the play and then look for him afterwards....

Just got back - play was wonderful. I've still got tears in my eyes

dp tried to call while I was watching it but my mobile was off, phoned him when I got out and guess where he was. He never caught up with his mate (funny that!!) and is coming home after this one (I've heard that before).

ds1 wasn't at all bothered - it was more important to him that I was there. Its just that I can't shake the feeling that if it was his ds's nativity or even my younger ds he'd have been there.

I know he was trying to sort out the van to bring in money to benefit us etc but I do think he could still have done this one thing for me today. It wouldn't have hurt him and he could have gone back looking for the friend afterwards.

Bloody men.

Yes I would be pissed off. I am making DH drive back to Yorkshire from Edinburgh for DS's play next week, and then back up to Newcastle the next day instead of staying over.

But glad the play was so lovely.