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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you be suspicious of this new man

20 replies

Sazzle41 · 06/11/2015 04:38

... if he can only see you in the week every 10 days or so? We never have Friday or weekend dates as he said he was divorced and has the kids then. I dont expect him to text then if he has 3kids to entertain but I mentioned to him that i dont like texting (pestering) people at work & wondered why he never texted in the evenings. He does now text in evenings but its all sexual - we havent DTD yet.

I am having a rough time with house / job issues and frankly, never felt less like being sexy or sexting. I'm thinking he might be married ? Or just after a fling when he said he wasnt into that and wanted a soulmate. I cant bear to be hurt again tbh and feel like ignoring him now as my house/job situation are really dire and i need support / a hug, not a sex mad opportunist/ married man. Am i wrong to be suspicious?

OP posts:
Joysmum · 06/11/2015 05:50

He does now text in evenings but its all sexual - we havent DTD yet

Married or not, I'd not put up with that.

Phoenix69 · 06/11/2015 06:16

It doesn't sound like he is really into you.
I wouldn't be suspicious I just wouldn't be that bothered carrying on a relationship that started like this.
Move on. Better people out there

donajimena · 06/11/2015 06:17

Not good. Its not nice being used as wank fodder. You need to bin him.

Floundering · 06/11/2015 06:37

Move on you are better than that, you deserve more than that!

Sounds like you're having a rough time, I hope things improve soon.

spudlike1 · 06/11/2015 06:39

Follow your gut nothing feels right about this .

AnyFucker · 06/11/2015 07:04

Married or not, this sounds shit

Move on

tribpot · 06/11/2015 07:10

He sounds creepy. And yes, I think he's married. But even if he isn't, he's not giving off the vibes of someone looking for a soul mate.

Iwasworried · 06/11/2015 07:18

He's not treating you respectfully if all he says is lewd sexual things. You can do better than this.

Branleuse · 06/11/2015 07:24

he sounds very married

ALaughAMinute · 06/11/2015 09:07

Not exactly wooing you is he?

You can do better than this. Ditch!

0dfod · 06/11/2015 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goddessofsmallthings · 06/11/2015 10:04

If you dtd with this married knobber man it's probable you won't see him again or he'll treat you as a booty call, a convenient shag pitstop while he pursues ow.

I'm concerned that your "house/job situation are really dire" and you appear to be looking for "support / a hug" from a man/men you don't know. Do you have supportive friends/family who can help with your practical problems?

Sazzle41 · 06/11/2015 11:11

No family. No close friends. I very possibly have work now and have ended up with a lovely room with own bathroom and mini kitchen on airbnb. Housing people said i wasnt a priority/not their problem when i get evicted come Monday. Hopefully they will pay benefit at new address as they couldnt be bothered to house me themselves. Apparently eviction, severe depression and massive dosage anti d wise & Dr's letter does not mean you are priority/they didnt give a feck. No i am not expecting support off him, he's already burnt his bridges tbh. Tired of same old BS off his type. Why i am single. (see my post on OLD thread -if you didnt laugh you'd cry re the addict/escort guy, just one of my 'hilights' on OLD).

OP posts:
Seeyounearertime · 06/11/2015 11:17

I'd be suspicious just long enough to kick hisnrse out of my life and find someone I'm not suspicious.

donajimena · 06/11/2015 11:38

That's brilliant news about the work and housing. Fingers crossed that the work will pay off too.
Don't take this the wrong way but you have such a lot going on (and going wrong) that you probably weren't in the best place to be getting involved with anyone hence this dickhead being given the time of day.
I know its only the start but with housing and the possibility of work I am hopeful that life will be on the up.
Don't let idiots like that ruin your recovery.

plainjanine · 06/11/2015 14:40

Well, he's lying about just wanting a soulmate: his texts are all sexual. So what else is he lying about? And is it even worth the time to find out? Dump him and move on.

Cabrinha · 06/11/2015 14:46

You don't sound at all in a place to be dating.
And he sounds like an arse and possibly a married arse at that.
I think it's fair to say the lower we feel the more arseholes we attract.

Dump him, and leave OLD for a while. Good luck with the new room!

Sazzle41 · 06/11/2015 18:11

Thanks for very wise (as always) advice all. It amazed me I can post here and people have empathy and quick answers when you are on the floor. My new place I have a whole floor to myself and she is open to making it long term, its way cheaper & better location. Also Benefit people say changing my address is no problem if i have eviction notice. My Dr was also totally lovely/as was his receptionist, I'm going to write them both a little note for being so nice to a panicking, weepy mess on Wednesday. There are lovely people in the world, they are not all sex mad opportunists!

OP posts:
spudlike1 · 06/11/2015 19:54

Well done for reaching out. Enjoy your new home .Flowers

Rosabud · 07/11/2015 00:45

This man sounds horrible. But your new home and all the other things that are happening sound great. Best of luck!

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