relationship/temper advice for me please!

[MyTwoChocolateCoinsWorth]

does anyone have any tips or advice? how can i stop myself from taking out my frustrations on my poor husband. every time i am upset, angry, frustrated, i get snappy with him. i always think he is having a go at me every time he opens his mouth and i snap at him. he is very kind, he isnt an 'arguer' we dont row, i just snap and row at him.

i am not happy at the moment, but thats not his fault! so why do i always get bitchy at him. i need to stop taking my frustrations out on him. he has started to say things like why are you being so nasty, and he says im hostile etc etc. im so oversensitive and always think he is attacking me so i bite back! but he isnt and i can see that after i have already snapped, but its too late then! i tell myself every time that i must stop but then it happens again and again and the words are out of my mouth like im defending myself against his (non existant) attack.

how can i stop myself? saying "i must think before i speak" doesnt help because i have to remember that i told myself to think before i speak and i keep forgetting! or i think no but he really is having a go at me this time (he isnt), so i am justified in defending myself. i am really bad at leaving things to discuss later as i get so angry that i cant contain myself, so telling myself to say nothing until i have taken time doesnt work either. i have no more ideas!

anyone?

If it's any help - I am in exactly the same boat .... I feel sooo sorry for DH - but in the same breath I feel that he's a grownup too and can bloomin well get on with it .....
I am giving my all to the kids ( and it feels like everyone else ) .... I feel praps IF someone thought about me ( for a change ) tjings might get better

No help am I ????
But you are not on your own xxx

no, you are a help, its nice to know im not alone! i just feel guilty cos dh is a person too, with just as many feelings and emotions as me and its not fair of me to make him my whipping boy, but i keep doing it! why should he put up with me being bitchy so often - if he talked to me the way i talk to him id punch him. i feel selfish cos i just keep thinking about me and my feelings and not the fact that this man, who i love, is feeling miserable cos his wife is being a cow to him for no reason!

and i still cant stop myself from opening my big gob and letting the wind waggle my tongue!!!

you sound just like me!!!

I've always had a bit of a temper, but it used to take a lot to set it off, but since my Dad died in the summer I've not been coping at all well and poor dp has taken a lot of crap from me. I totally understand that feeling that its justified at the time and then afterwards you think wtf was that all about.

It got so bad for me that we nearly split up and so I went to the GP and she put me on the waiting list for counselling. I think dad's death and other stuff going on at the time made me flip.

Since I saw the GP funnily enough I do feel a lot calmer and dp is more understanding, I think its knowing that I'm not crazy and the fact that I'm doing something about it has helped.

I don't know if counselling is the answer but it might be an idea to find out what the triggers are and find some other coping mechanisms for when you get stressed / frustrated.