Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I wasnt invited to the party [sad]

34 replies

mrsSnoah · 07/12/2006 08:09

Just found out yesterday that my friend had a girlie birthday drinks party last week and I wasn't invited sob

All the mums were talking about it being a great party.

Our kids are big friends at school and are always at each others' houses etc
Am hurt. I know I havent offended her.
Am now left wondering am I awful person?

OP posts:
josben · 07/12/2006 12:50

I know what you mean - I've just had DC3 and I have felt like I've been dropped by a couple of friends who I used to see a lot for coffee mornings... They now do regular meet ups with a new group from school who I'm not familiar with and I've not been included... In my postnatal state I've felt really p*ssed off with them and very low and sorry for myself but I've now realised that that was getting me nowhere... So I've tried to think its their loss - things change and people move on. I've also made the effort to see other friends and also meet up with DD's post natal group. and so I'm feeling a bit better about it all now, HTH.

elfsmum · 07/12/2006 16:55

I once had a "friend" who I used to socialise with, was there for her when she attempted suicide, when her DP left her etc.

Was there to support her when she got back with the same DP who she'd attempted suicide over, supported her in her decisions, even to leave her job and move cities.

She had a huge leaving do and didn't invite me, but invited someone else who she was supposed not to like, and I found out about the party off him.

When DP left her again, and she attempted suicide again guess who she called. I supported her through this episode again and when she was strong enough I asked her why she hadn't invited me, she couldn't or wouldn't answer me, so I told her she had hurt my feelings, I didn't condsider her a friend and until she could come up with an explanation, apologise and make up for it she never would be.

Haven't heard from her in years.

Some people are just so self absorbed and think that you are there to do their bidding and like to show off the good times to their fair weather friends - and use the true good people when they need to lean on someone.

If your children get something out of the friendship then support them in it, but don't waste your time or effort on someone who just isn't worth it.

Mumpbump · 07/12/2006 17:25

Why not say that you heard that she had a fab party and that you're really pleased it went so well. Don't say anything else and you'll probably get some explanation...

WonderCod · 07/12/2006 19:06

or tell a mutual friend that you cna rely on to be indiscreet that you are sad

Original poster
mrsSnoah · 08/12/2006 21:46

Elfsmum, that's an interesting at the end there, hadnt thought of that.

Went out with the post natal lot yesterday and had a great time. Actually think these folks are much funnier, kinder and down to earth.
I summised that I probably had a far better time with them last night than I would have even if I had gone to that snotty party.

Am not going to ask why I wasnt invited.
Am going to limit the friendship to the children.

Have moved on. Am happier.

You guys really did make me feel a whole lot better, and thank you so much.

Each of you are good pals to have in a crisis.

OP posts:
newgirl · 08/12/2006 21:58

I was going to add that I have given up inviting out a friend I really like because she never comes/cancels at the last minute and it is just hard work - I have no idea if this might be why you weren't invited - maybe she thought you wouldn't come? I get fed up always being the one who invites and organises things and I tend to invite out those who organise things back.

If this or isn't you then I reckon going out with new friends is the ideal thing to do - shows you do love to go out and have a busy old life thanks very much x

Original poster
mrsSnoah · 08/12/2006 23:15

Exactly, newgirl.
We are now far too busy with fantastic social life , phone never stops ringing, etc etc

sorry must fly; am off to a glamorous cocktail party with dashing young man (code for have to run upstairs and dish out more calpol to small child

OP posts:
newgirl · 10/12/2006 20:24

yes my new year resolution - more cocktails, more dressing up, more dancing yippeeee with or without annoying mates x

ponder · 10/12/2006 20:29

i wasnt invited to one of my best friends weddings, and only found out about it because i happened to drop in on her unannounced as i was in her town, and she was in the middle of her hen party with all our other best friends!
they were all very embarrised and made excuses that i lived on other sde of country etc, but it still hurts not to have been asked, and it was obvious that my non-invitation had been discussed between them.
i still see them but feel like i dont quite trust their motives any more.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page