Should I go for it? Opinions please!

[jamesdeandaydream]

I've been single for a few months now, but still been occasionally having sex with my ex (dd's dad). I finally put an end to it a couple of weeks ago because it was messing with my mind due to the fact that he was just seeing it as FWB and I wanted more. He doesn't want any more kids which is the main reason we can't get back together.

Anyway out of the blue I received a text the other night from a guy I used to have casual sex with a few years ago - it was basically asking whether I wanted to have a bit of fun. I really fancy him and the sex is amazing so I want to go for it but I'm wondering whether I should or not.

My ex would be devastated because he was always jealous of this guy and I don't know if it's too soon. I've also put a bit of weight on since I saw him last so I'm worried he wouldn't like me any more.

What do I do??

Go for it. Dont tell your ex, he won't be that devastated I bet and I think that will hurt you so keep it to yourself. Besides the secret thrill of it will be more of a buzz

Why tell your ex? He is your ex and was only after fwb.

But don't go into this looking for anything serious. He's only offering fun.

I wouldn't tell him but I think I'd feel guilty. He says he still loves me and doesn't want me to be with anyone else but at the same time he clearly doesn't want me.

Will definitely not be expecting anything to come from it. I've not slept with anyone other than my ex in so long though, I'm really nervous. How do I boost my confidence??

Are you afraid that your ex will stop sleeping with you when he knows your sleeping with someone else?

If you want no strings sex and its on the table just do it that will boost your confidence sufficiently I would have thought.

• Making your ex jealous is a terrible reason to go for it, and worrying about making your ex jealous is a terrible reason not to go for it. This is not about your ex! This is just about no-strings sex.

If your ex's reaction is the first thing you think about, though, then I don't think you should be having sex with him: your emotions are already caught up in what is supposed to be no-strings sex.

• Your weight is a non-issue; sounds like your self-esteem is weak, though, so I also wonder if you could do this and remain emotionally unscathed.

He says he still loves me and doesn't want me to be with anyone else but at the same time he clearly doesn't want me.

Well that is his tough shit then isn't it. But don't tell him just to see if he is bothered.

He. Does. Not. Need. To. Know.

The subject of your sex life, casual or otherwise should not cone up with your ex.

"doesn't want me to be with anyone else"

HUGE red flag. How do you think your ex will react when he finds out you are sleeping with someone else? Does imagining it make you feel frightened?

No I don't feel frightened at the thought of him knowing but I suppose I just feel guilty because this guy used to text me at the start of our relationship and it caused a lot of arguments and jealousy. I have no feelings for the other guy apart from finding him attractive. He's the best sex I've ever had! I just want a bit of excitement.

So in summary - sleep with the hot man. Don't tell you ex.

I like the summary

I'm going to go for it.

Oh and think of the calories you will burn!!! Its a complete win!

Threefishys
I say go for it too. It's your life.

Having casual sex is not the way to improve self esteem. Only do so if it's because you simply want to.

Yeah they key word in all of this is ex.

It's absolutely none of his business what you do!

I'm not doing it tis improve my self esteem, I'm just hoping my poor confidence won't ruin my fun! I'm excited now. And feeling less worried about what my ex would say - it really is none of his business!

You split up with someone because they don't want more kids and you do.

You've been single for "a few months" but still having sex with your ex.

Now you are considering having sex with someone else but worrying what your ex would think.

It doesn't sound as if you have adjusted to being single at all.

It doesn't sound as if you are over your ex.

If what you want in the long run is a proper relationship and to have more kids, you need to be mentally in the right place for it. So far it doesn't sound as if you are moving in that direction.

Why don't I get texts like that from men I had great sex with. [Envy]

sofa I'm surprised that I did which is why I think I'd kick myself if I don't do it!

Trills I don't have sex with my ex anymore and definitely don't have feelings for him but I know I'm not in the right frame of mind to be meeting anyone new. But this is just sex so what harm can it do? Or am I being naive?