Should I give my mum my new address

[booksrock]

My mother left home when I was a child, we had contact until I was 18 when she lost all interest in me. Her husband, a man I have known since I was 3 (he was the OM) is vile and horrible to me and has written nasty letters to me on and off for years. I am not good enough, a bad daughter, a bad person etc.

The last straw was my wedding a few years ago, I didn't invite him and was told that my marriage was a sham and I am a bad Christian who didn't deserve to be married in church. Since then my siblings who grew up with my mother have refused to contact me etc and I am pretty much a none person now.

My mother has always sent birthday and Christmas cards to me and sent a small parcel earlier this year which I never responded too, which I feel guilty for. We have moved house this year - should I pass on my new address?

I would not contact her either. She is inherently selfish and is not worthy of any of your time. Your siblings are not worth the time of day either.

Its not your fault she has behaved so abysmally.

Bloody hell, of course not!

I would.

Nah, this is your chance to be free bow.

Why would you derxa?

Because I had a lot of ups and downs with my father and I could have told him to go to hell. However I didn't and now he's dead I feel I did the right thing and I feel more at peace than had I just cut him off. I did make the emotional decision that he could never hurt me again though.
booksrock's mother is on a whole different scale. But she is asking us. Maybe she wants to forgive and move on.

I wouldn't. Use it as an opportunity to make a clean break. I highly recommend it. It all sounds very toxic.

derxa

Yes, maybe. Always good to have a balanced view. I asked because I'm nc with my mother and wouldn't tell her if I moved.

I have already considered what it will be like when she dies. I won't regret it.

I wouldnt. Also it's not up to her to forgive. She needs to earn OP's forgiveness for being so shit and allowing others to be shit too.

I wouldn't. She chose him over you. It is done. She did it. Not you.