So, one of my best friend's/roommate (let's call her Shana) has been casually hanging out with a guy (we'll call him Clive) for the better part of a year. There's been some weird issues; she was completely besotted with him but he's constantly kept her at arms length, not willing to give any of himself emotionally.
Then we found out that, last December (2014), that Clive had gotten engaged to his on again/off again girlfriend. He didn't tell Shana about until March (2015), the whole while carrying on the friend's with benefits casual thing that he had going on with her before the engagement happened. His engagement didn't curtail his behaviour with Shana at all. And when he told her about it, she was fine with continuing with the sex, as well. As she told me, the fiancee lived ten hours away and she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.
So they carried on until Clive and his fiancee called off their engagement and they kept carrying on afterwards. Now there was the added fun of Clive not being over his fiancee at all, ranting at Shana about how crazy she was, how she cheated on him, etc. The whole time still denying Shana any type of real relationship other than casual sex. This kept going until a week or so ago.
Shana, over the last week, has started to try and withdraw from Clive. He's been starting fights over texts, accused her of trying to date other guys (despite the fact that they're not even close to exclusive), told her that he seems the same warning signs between Shana and his ex. Telling her not to delete her OLD profiles as she'll probably need them in the future, that they weren't exclusive and never had been, etc.
Last night, Shana got sick of it. Completely. She told him that if he was going to continue to be the way he was being, then all she wanted to do was be his friend and take the sex off the table completely.
Well, my oh my, did his tune change fast. Why was she suddenly going a complete 180 degrees when, you know, he decided just that moment that he's finally ready to move on. And now he sees a future with her, but she needs to stop playing games with him.
She rushed up to see him last night, in order to talk things out, and when she got home early in the afternoon she told me that they are now exclusive. They're going to have a relationship. It's all happy, happy. He apparently even told her that he loves her... All this after trying his hardest to keep out of any kind of relationship with her.
I just ... I don't know. It's such an extreme change after he accused her of playing him, jerking him around and all that.
I know people will wonder how I know what the texts said, but she showed me their conversations, letting me read back over all the mean things he said to her.
I just don't know how to reconcile how his actions seem against the words he's telling her. It seemed as though the moment she wanted to stand up for herself and stand up a little bit, he wiggled his fingers, said exactly what she wanted to hear and now she thinks they're in love.
Like I said... I just don't know :(