Feeling lonely - or am I depressed??

[sleepthruthenite]

Over the last few weeks I've started to feel quite lonely.
I have dd1 who is 3 and at pre-school three mornings per week, and then there is dd2 who is 5 months and at a really cute stage.
My mum isn't around, as she has moved far away. I do have a MIL but she doesn't drive, and isn't the type to 'pop-in', we go over to the in-laws for a sunday dinner every now and again.
I'm on maternity leave until April, so don't have regular adult contact with collegues. My friends aren't mothers, so don't really understand my way of life.
My husband is a night worker, so when we're at home we have to be quiet enough for him to sleep.
I get so so lonely, and stressed out very easily. Everyday is becoming the same - it's like groundhog day over and over.
I've tried mother and toddler groups, but have never found anyone interested in talking to me, and now dd1 is at pre-school it's not easy to find any groups that suit the times.
Anyone else know what I mean - I've tried to explain this to my DH, but it's very hard to explain, and for him to understand........I think it's something only someone in the same situation would understand??

You poor thing - I totally understand how you feel. I actually spoke to my HV recently about me feeling very similar to how you've described. She said she thinks I'm bored/lonely rather than depressed - maybe you are the same. My DS is also great but day after day doing the same thing with only a baby for company is bound to get you down.

I'm on maternity leave until march with my DS (3 months) and sometimes wake up in the morning thinking oh great yet another day of feeding, changing, washing, cleaning, bath, bottle, bed - whoopee! I don't know about you but I've found myself looking forward to going to Tesco because it means I can speak to another adult!

I think if you're used to going to work and using your brain and talking to other adults, then suddenly spending all your time with children, its more difficult than you'd expect.

I found it difficult at the drop-in mother and baby groups because there are so many people and its hard to get into conversation. I find that going to groups where you do a specific thing, eg baby swimming, baby reading groups at the library, etc makes it easier to get chatting to people because its more structured and you can talk about the activity you're doing.

Anyway, don't know if I'm any help, just wanted you to know you're not alone!

Sleepthru - being someone that has suffered from despression on and off in past years it sounds to me like you are feeling quite down....it may be that you will pick up in a few weeks, or start to feel more blue...It is so hard when you feel lonely and that no one in understanding what's going on inside you, it's good to get on here and talk about it because you really aren't alone. My DH has struggled with me before as he is so happy go lucky....I just tried my best to expain how I felt. I would keep trying some mum and baby groups - even if they are all weirdo's there at least you've got out for a bit!!! lol (I found it was when I really shut myself off I got worse) things will get better hon', keep posting x

You could be depressed - I had PND after all my kids, quite severely after my girls (dd1 now 6 ds in the middle now 4, then dd2 just 3).

For me it started with every day feeling the same, like noone was interested in what I was doing cos it was just so damn monotontous!! I had to force myself to get up, and then to get dressed, and then to go out --- it was all such a HUGE efort that some days didnt really make it at all, I remember the days when I was in tears when dh got home at 6 and I was still not dressed and baby still in pj's etc .......
It sounds corny, but I jujst had to FORCE myself. This wasnt possible though until I was on antidepressants. There is a really good scale for assessing if you have PND. You can do it yourself here )and please be honest when you do it) or ask your Health Visitor to run you through it. You need a score of 11-12 to be diagnosed with PND, my score was 17 after every child! I was lucky not to end up in hospital!! But there is so much they can do for you - I had my HV calling in, and antidepressants, and weekly consultations with my GP (he was a real lifesaver) and also after a botched suicide attempt (I was very unwell) a Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) who came to see me for 6 months - I am still in touch informally with him as I am convinced he saved my life.
Dont be afraid to go ask for help - if you dont need it, you dont need to take it, and if you do need it, it is there for you.
I found some good PND info for you at : PND Info