I split up with my husband year and a half ago. We'd been together since we were 16 and I was 31 when we split so all my adult life basically! And he was the only person I'd ever slept with. I'm now 33.
Since then, after a period of getting over our breakup I joined a dating website and have been on a few dates and met some lovely guys and yes I have slept with a few.
I enjoy dating. I enjoy being able to go out and get chatted up by a man without having to say I have a bf because ive never been able to do this. And please don't take this as im being big headed but I am aware guys find me attractive so do get attention and dates from quite good looking men aswell. And I was aware of this when with my ex but obviously always kept my head down because I would never be unfaithful. But now it's liberating that actually I can do what I want. I can enjoy it!
But there's been a couple of guys I dated and they soon liked me.more seriously and wanted a relationship and although they were very sweet attractive, i even felt love towards them but all I could think was that I didn't want to be attached to someone so I couldn't go out and flirt, get chatted up and go on more dates and have that excitement.
So. I'm thinking 1) is it just because I was with my ex so long I'm living my youth now!! And yes I should have fun and embrace it while I'm still young enough
2) will I always want to do this though and therefore potentially miss out on meeting the one for me because I won't commit
3) am I over thinking and actually if I ever do meet the one then I'd feel different anyway
I am enjoying meeting new people. But don't wanna be older and on my own because at the moment I just wanna have fun????
What does everyone think? ?