I have to leave my partner LO 2 months old

[NewMum2908]

Hi ladies I need your advice.
My beautiful angel was born 2 months ago and sadly I have to leave. I have donever everything to try and make it work but he won't learn.
At the start of this month I went onto my partners phone to see that he was gambling out of control. I approached his mum (as he might listen to her) and between the 2 of us we got him to put a ban on his account. It got that bad he gambled away our rent and bills money.as a responsible mum I gave him 700 out of my savings to pay for everything.
He promised he wouldn't do this anymore. I found another gambling app last week and asked him to log on so I could see how much he spent and he wouldn't do it so I asked for a bank statement to see if there were any transactions and he wouldn't do it so I just had to "trust he wasn't doing it".
Since then he has been very sly with his phone and finally left it on the side when having a shower so decided to take a look.
I went onto his Internet and found porn up which mortified me and found another betting app and saw the balance was £392.
I asked him about it when he came out the shower and these are the replies I get.
Porn - I don't find you attractive and don't like ur mentality
Gambling - you broke my trust by going on my phone.
My family live 200 miles away and can't just go and stop somewhere local as I can't get a home I can afford in London so have to leave to go stop at my parents.
Am I being over the top? How can I stay here when the person I want to be a team mate is doing everything in his power to push us away. I never dreamt about being a single parent but feel like it's my only option when he never wants to talk about his problems or show that he love's me in any way :(

He is vile - the sooner you get away from him the better. And I would recommend some counselling for yourself. You sound like you have low self esteem, and I worry you will keep taking his shite for years to come, plus giving him more money.

You and your daughter deserve way more than this pathetic waste of space will ever give you.

I have a relegate whose mum is a compulsive gambler, liar,nth if and embezzler. she's now in her seventies. So, it doesn't suddenly disappear and get better.

Just go. Get your stuff together, make sure he can't access any of your funds or run up debts you will be accountable for and go.

Let's see how much of an adoring dad he is when he has to actually make an effort to be a parent. Your dd won't have to question why you left, she will, unfortunately know for herself.

Well done OP I think you are being very brave and absolutely doing the right thing. You and your dd deserve so much better.

I know this is awful now but in time things will get better. Whereas if you stay I think you will always be living like this, it won't go away.

Your DD is far better off without this addict in her life.

Gambling can be just as destructive an addiction as drugs or alcohol. I have been with a gambler and it was not pretty. Funnily enough he also made comments about how I wasn't attractive and withheld sex and how I had "broken his trust" by checking up on him.

He was also a compulsive liar and over time raped and beat me as well, so good on you for getting out now and far away from this piece of shit.

Look forward to a bright future with you and DD without this utter wankbadger bringing you down.

Wow thank you all for your support. The end issue is that all I want is to feel loved. I've agreed to stay tonight until he gets home from work so we can talk.

As soon as he speaks back usually it's shooting me down and making me feel like the guilty one.

I feel like my love for him has fizzled away. After not being there for me through the pregnancy and gambling thousands (and only just finding out) and now I feel as if he only wants me here for the little one.

Life is a bitch but looking at my baby girl takes the pain away... until he walks in after work and silly me expecting a conversation!

Regardless of what he says I think I'm done... just need the strength to go for it x

Do you want to wait for him? I can see why he wants you to but I wonder if it might be better for you to go to your folks and speak to him on the phone from there when you feel ready. (If at all)

I'd just go now. He'll either have a go at you tonight, or lie to you. If he's going to change, then he can do that and then you can consider coming back at a much later date.

Yep - if you have decided to leave, then why hang around? Makes no sense. Nothing he can say will change what he did will it?

Go now, I thought your dad was coming to take you home?

He knows you've got savings and he's not going to want you to go until he's prised them out of you and gambled them away. To that end he'll tell you anything to keep you from leaving and it will be a pack of lies.

As others have said, he doesn't love you or his dd and the only part he's likely to play in her life will be to make promises he doesn't keep - and she most certainly won't be angry with you for leaving him.,

Don't be fooled by him tonight - you've got something he wants and it isn't your mind or your body.

Please don't put your dad off from coming to get you - at the very least you and your dd deserve a break with those who truly love you.

Hi OP. Nothing to add to the emotional support, but I have some paranoia for you.

Can you go through ALL your password protected sites and change them once you've left? I say this because although you may not permit him access to account, if he can get hold of anything that can generate cash he will. Possibilities include printing off utility bills to establish residence for loans, using your eBay or Amazon account to redirect goods and selling them, and of course simple harassment.

DD's best friend had to leave home recently with a six week old baby. The Powers That Be considered her ex so dangerous that they asked her write down her most loved contacts and then format her phone and tablet. All this while packing for a 200 mile move before the magistrates bailed him the following morning.

Courage, peace and good luck.

How are you tonight OP?

OP, are you ok?