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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Selfish dh

7 replies

Workinprogress2015 · 31/10/2015 08:01

Selfish dh
For the past 2 days I've been in bed with a fever, high temp, aching muscles, headache plus I'm also 12 weeks pregnant.
We already have one dd and partner is off work this week, for the first day he left us to it while he ran errands. We stayed in bed and watch movies. Then yesterday he took dd to soft play for 2 hours, she fell asleep in the car and slept for a further hour at home. I asked him to make her some dinner for when she wakes, which he did. He's very good at doing things when asked but never uses his own initiative to figure things out, but that's another story.
She wakes, eats and he plays with her when it's nearly bedtime he asks can I put her to sleep as he needs to get a hair cut, then go out with friends said no, those things are not a priority right now we then have a massive argument and he says he's been with dd all day why can't I just put her to sleep!
I'm so fed up and annoyed with his behaviour he thinks doing things with our dd whilst I'm sick he should be rewarded with going out when I look after her all the time so he gets to go football/ gym etc. I want to ask him to leave because I'm practically a single parent as it is, his needs always come before ours, and he just doesn't realise how selfish he is.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 31/10/2015 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Workinprogress2015 · 31/10/2015 08:15

Yes I am, we've spoken he just doesn't seem to get it and it's so frustrating. I rarely ask him to do much but I'm sick! Some days he leaves straight from work to said hobbie.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 31/10/2015 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Workinprogress2015 · 31/10/2015 08:28

He will do it begrudgingly and he'll expect when it's done ( she's asleep) he can go out, which isn't usually a problem when I'm not sick.
I know we have serious communication problems, he never listens to my feelings, sounds over me to get his point across, never takes responsibility for his shortcomings. I've been suggesting couples counselling for months, he was supposed to look into it but dragged his feet, so I found one gave him the number to call, but now he's suggested instead of couples couselling he thinks he should do individual counselling. But he still hasn't booked it

OP posts:
Workinprogress2015 · 31/10/2015 11:34
  • shouts over me
OP posts:
LeaLeander · 31/10/2015 11:57

All these serious problems yet you are having another child by him?

Sounds like you both need individual counseling.

Workinprogress2015 · 31/10/2015 13:20

Lea thank you for your judgement opinion
Which is exactly the reason why we need to come to a solution sooner rather than later

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