I really feel for you, I left my husband with our four month old baby two months ago after years of abuse, mainly verbal and mental but sometimes physical. The bit about insulting you while you were pregnant is particularly painful as that is what he did to me. Finally he hit me and threatened me with a knife so there was no longer any doubt in my mind that the situation would get worse and worse.
The practicalities of leaving seem overwhelming but actually sorting things out keeps you sane.
The thing is, everyone but your partner knows that what he does is wrong and there are so many laws and organisations that will protect and advise you. What you're experiencing is horribly common and so there is alot of help out there for you and your children.
The people at the homelessness bit of the council were so kind and helpful, as were all the people at the DSS where I went to claim benefits for the first time in my life. My solicitor is useful, arranging appointments with benefits advisors and housing solicitors and though there are few benefits to being skint, you can get legal aid.
The domestic violence unit of the local police have been brilliant, they helped me get a solicitor and advised me on my rights regarding housing and contact. My health visitor is really supportive and helpful and will come and visit for a couple of hours at a time, she is a real cheerleader.
I think you'll be amazed once you start asking for help how much is out there to protect you. There is even a scheme that will foster your pets for you while you get set up in a new home! Our local authority will build a safe room in any home you have so that if your partner even finds you and gets into your home you can lock yourself behind reinforced doors and be protected there until the police arrive.
In fact, even the police who responded to my 999 calls were great.
You are not to blame for anything and I'm sure if you can take care of three children while living in this horrible situation, you can do what it takes to get out of it.
I wouldn't go to Aus if you can possibly help it, you've realised what the state of play is in your relationship and once the light has dawned you can never go back, it's now just a matter of time before you walk away.
My life is a total shambles, I've got no money, no job, nowhere to live and my hopes of a happy marriage and loving family life are totally shattered. Half my friends are avoiding me and my baby and I are sleeping on camp beds and living out of bags. So much for the nicely decorated nursery and tonnes of equipment...i just have no idea what the future holds.
And yet for the first time in years - since i got together with my husband - I'm really really happy, totally at peace with myself.
Oh yeh, I've also got asthma and noticed a marked improvement in it after leaving husband so you can make of that what you will!
Start asking for help, set the wheels in motion. To me, your decision is made, just detail to sort out now. The very very very best of luck to you, I'll be thinking of you.