Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone ever been on a Pre-date date?

22 replies

YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 08:45

Ive a date with a guy I really like on Saturday and I'm so nervous. Haven't been on an actual date in a couple of years and I keep imagining all these first date disaster scenarios Hmm
A friend suggested I go on a date with a guy I'm not overly keen on, so not that bothered about impressing as a kind of warm-up for the 'big date' in an attempt to calm my nerves. At first I thought she was a bit mad but now I'm thinking she may be on to something. What do you guys think?

OP posts:
tribpot · 29/10/2015 08:47

Surely no-one does this in real life, only on Sex and the City? Why treat someone else so disrespectfully - you wouldn't want to be someone else's pre-date warm-up would you?

Original poster
YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 08:47

Alternatively, please come and reassure me first dates aren't all that scary.

Ignores bad dates thread Grin

OP posts:
StillDrSethHazlittMD · 29/10/2015 08:48

Rubbish idea. If it's a shit date and you don't the guy it may make your more anxious about the proper date. Just go for the proper date

Original poster
YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 08:50

This is a guy I was planning to meet anyway. Just not someone I really like IYSWIM.
I haven't scouted him out as 'the warm up'

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 29/10/2015 08:51

That just seems a bit silly to me. Why waste your precious time ?

avocadoghost · 29/10/2015 08:52

That's a terrible idea! Just go along and be yourself. Don't play any silly games and I'm sure you'll be fine.

Original poster
YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 08:52

StillDr My god you're right. How in the actual F could I not have noticed that flaw in her theory Confused

OP posts:
whatdoIget · 29/10/2015 08:54

If you're going to meet the other guy anyway where's the harm? Just see it as a stand-alone date rather than a pre-date. You might even like him more, who knows?

Spell99 · 29/10/2015 08:55

What if the guy you dont like so much turns out to be more fun and considerate?

Original poster
YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 08:55

Okay. I'm sensing a 'bad idea' tone here. Just tell me all will be fine and I won't spill red wine over his head or sneeze in his face.

OP posts:
spudlike1 · 29/10/2015 09:00

How do you know you really like him, if you haven't dated him yet . Stop taking it all.so seriously. Date them all relax, have fun and be yourself .

spudlike1 · 29/10/2015 09:04

Spread the net wide there are a lot of time wasters out there

SassyPasty · 29/10/2015 09:30

Have you set the first 'date' as a romantic meal or something having not even met him? That would be a pressure on anyone. I always think a pre-date meet first is sensible before committing to several hours with someone who, frankly you might not like nor he you Grin

molyholy · 29/10/2015 09:41

Aah poor 'pre-date' fella. How would you feel if someone used you as a practice? I know he won't find out, but you would know. Seems a wee bit mean.

Fairenuff · 29/10/2015 09:55

What if you are his pre-date date, wouldn't that be ironic OP.

TeaJunction · 29/10/2015 10:04

Kind of. When I first started online dating I set up dates with two guys. One I connected to really well by message and I was really looking forward to our date but I had already arranged a date with the other and he didn't come across as well by message.

I was so nervous having not dated in about 13 years but I had so much fun on the first date and surprised myself with how much I liked him. But because I thought I preferred the other guy, I was way more excited for our date. It turned out to be rubbish and Mr. Hilarious by text was actually mr. Boring as hell.

I actually ended up with neither of them because first date guy came on way too strong following our date constantly messaging me. Thinking back, I'm glad I had the date with the guy I wasn't as keen on even though it turned out to be nothing as he was so much fun and it broke the dating I've for me. Having said that, I think if I've had the terrible date with my preferred guy first, it wouldn't have put me off continuing because I set my expectations low and just saw it as a way to meet new people, something I do in my job anyway.

In the end I went on about 8 dates and I'm still with the last one over a year later and he's amazing Grin.

TPel · 29/10/2015 10:17

I really think you are over thinking the whole thing. It is just a date.

Just go along and see what happens. He is just a human being who puts his pants on one foot at a time.

TPel · 29/10/2015 10:18

Lots of 'justs' in that post for some reason.

Crinkle77 · 29/10/2015 10:22

No don't. It's not very nice to use someone as a 'warm up'.

Elliementalmydearwatson · 29/10/2015 10:38

OP I read the title and thought you meant something else.

Anyway I was on pre-date date only I didn't know it!
I had arranged a date with a guy, got all dressed up, nervous etc but when we met it became pretty obvious that he viewed this meet as an opportunity to see if I was "worthy" of a proper date, it was more like an interview than a date, lasted 10 minutes and then he abruptly left saying he would let me know Angry

Needless to say I didn't give him the chance and texted him to say I didn't think he met MY criteria ha ha Grin

Sorry for going off subject!

Original poster
YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 12:00

I know I'm way over thinking it. It's just because I've not been on a date in years. Like I said, I was going to meet this guy either way, definitely not using him for the sake of it. Friend just suggested I get it out the way first for want of a better phrase. Thanks for all the input everyone Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
YeahOkayWhatever · 29/10/2015 12:01

watson I'm definitely not crazy enough to pull that Grin

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page