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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband's career

5 replies

Echobelly · 28/10/2015 15:37

Joining here to post as I don't want to post in other places where my husband and I are 'known'.

DH held a job at the same large corporation, moving on quite well for 7 years, but became dissatisfied with it and spent quite long time trying to find a new job and moved to a new role about 3 years ago.

The boss in this role was just awful, an undermining bully and it actually came as a relief when DH was told he hadn't passed probation (there were contractual conditions that made it hard for DH to leave with less than two years' service). He was out of work for a few months before taking a well paid freelance role for a few months, then moving straight on to a company he'd wanted to work for for some time in a role that was quite challenging for him.

That went along OK for about 9 months, then a project he was working on went belly up and they immediately went cold on him and after giving him some time to sort himself out (whilst not giving him any new work) they told him he was out, luckily with 3 months' notice that they gave him as gardening leave.

Start of this year, he begins a new job, same pay as last one seems to go OK, but at 6 months review, although he's got great traction with the team below him, some of the other people he works with aren't happy with him - I think it's to do with communication and maybe some of the ways he does things -and so his probation is extended by 3 months, although his manager didn't think that was very fair. His first major project was launched successfully, so that is on his side. However, his supportive manager has gone on Mat leave, which worries me in that it feels as though a lot hangs of how her stand-in (a very senior guy DH doesn't know) handles things and feels about DH.

So what do we do now? I think he really, really needs to see some kind of career consultant/mentor type person, and soon, because this is starting to look like a pattern. It'll cost, but it can only help and it could also demonstrate he is really trying so they can't give up on him easily.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 28/10/2015 20:01

3 jobs where he's not meeting expectations and lost his job after a decent period doesn't sound like they have given up on him, simply that he'd not what they want for some reason. Perhaps he's stretched himself too far?

He needs to be sure of what that has been in each case and whether it's the same thing for each and something he can address.

Duckdeamon · 28/10/2015 20:05

It could just be very bad luck, ruthless employers, or that he has some performance flaws and might not succeed in this field/role.

I don't think you can help much however.

Duckdeamon · 28/10/2015 20:06

Also, ruthless employers don't care how hard people are trying.

Echobelly · 28/10/2015 20:25

Thanks, I think seeing someone who is not family or a colleague could help clarify the root of the problem. The first job that went south really was bad luck with a horrible boss, the second could be chalked up to biting off more than he could chew, but this role is at a level he feels much more confident in.

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 29/10/2015 12:31

Yes, that might help if he saw someone good. But they will have to go on what he tells then. And he should seek and organise this.

How's your own career going? Good to "share the risk".

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