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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Feeling unappreciated

16 replies

Yorkiegirl · 14/05/2004 17:35

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OP posts:
SoupDragon · 14/05/2004 17:42

Not sure about cheering you up but I'm right there with you (sympathetic smilie)

tammybear · 14/05/2004 17:43

awww yorkiegirl, i kno how u feel, my ex use to always unappreciate me, i didnt feel like his gf, hence one of the reasons why he's my ex now.

Dont listen to your dh, its not your fault. And I think he over reacted to dd1 weeing on the carpet.

katierocket · 14/05/2004 17:49

yorkiegirl that is so out of order. It's only a carpet and that kind of reaction is hardly going to help your dd. you need to by yourself a big choc eclair and have a large glass of wine.

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 14/05/2004 17:49

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
tammybear · 14/05/2004 17:56

have you told him how you feel yorkiegirl?

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 14/05/2004 18:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
jampot · 14/05/2004 18:08

Yorkiegirl - my dh is a bit anal about cleaning etc. He tries to get the kids to sort out any toys they may not have played with for a couple of months so we can give them away!!!!! When DS used to wet the bed it was my fault because he went to bed earlier/later or he'd had too much to drink. He accidently vomited in our bed a few months ago and I instantly lifted the sheet of the bed as soon as he started wretching to try and minimise the damage - my fault too though!! I can really sympathise with you - it is HELL!!!!!

tammybear · 14/05/2004 18:16

If i was in your shoes, and if he said to me it was my fault, i would ask him why exactly it's my fault, and why isn't it his fault. Usually that makes them think, and shut them up cos they dont want to admit it when theyre wrong

i dont know if thats any help

geordiegirl · 14/05/2004 18:19

My dh has always been very good on the parenting support bit(despite his other faults) and we are frighteningly consistant in our responses to the children.We've got 3 children and all through the early years with them we both realised it doesn't come with an instruction manual and each child is different. I think perhaps you need to get away with some girlfriends for a night or so (when feeding eventually alllows ) and leave him to it -if he knows so much better- lets see how he copes!!!

Clayhead · 14/05/2004 18:21

Yorkiegirl, sympathy from me, have potty trained dd this year whilst bf ds, it's bloody hard work (and involved a few dashes with potty in one hand whilst holding bf ds in the other). IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT SHE WEED ON THE CARPET! That's part of potty training. Just being in the room means nothing anyway, when the child only realises when it's coming out you can't always get there in time.

katierocket it spot on, wine and choclate for you and lots and lots of reassurance for dd, it was just an accident and the last thing you want is her getting upset over it.

Good luck!!

tammybear · 14/05/2004 18:21

Also you should say to him that you would like some time to yourself, to get out and let your hair down as you're entitled to some time to yourself

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 14/05/2004 19:10

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OP posts:
jampot · 14/05/2004 19:27

Yorkiegirl - YES YES YES!!!!!! You are me!!!!

tammybear · 14/05/2004 20:45

Yep, have had that too

Just "borrow" some money out of his wallet and buy yourself something nice lol

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 14/05/2004 21:23

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
tammybear · 14/05/2004 21:30

Dont listen to his hints, and dont buy him anything from now on, and if he asks why you havent brought him anything, just say something like that since he hasnt, you thought that there is no need to buy him anything, or something along those lines

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