Labour & Birth Support Person

[Marcher]

I'm about 16 weeks pregnant, separating from husband (he had emotional affair, he wants to try to fix marriage, I said no it's over now).
I'll be giving birth next year. My parents are interstate (and not my ideal birthing support). I don't have any sisters. All my friends have babies or young children so I'm not sure if I should ask them...
What to do? What have other people done?
Catch a taxi and birth alone?

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Do point out to me the post where is stated that a woman has no say in who is in the delivery room with her.

Supermanspants in my case an ex partner but my views extend to anyone. I don't think the father has a right to demand to be there when they are together.

I don't get why you think his want to be there should come above a woman's want to give birth however she chooses?!

Tali Please point out to me the post where I stated that 'his want to be there should come above a woman's right to give birth however she chooses'

May I suggest you re-read my comments. You seem to have completely misunderstood the point I have made.

Your point is that the father can give support to the woman. My point is that it's up to the woman to decide who she wants to support her.

This all seems to have got rather out of hand!

It is a medical and legal fact that anyone's feelings about how the birth is handled or who is present other than the person giving birth are irrelevant.

If the perso giving birth wants to have their partner, their ex, their mother, father, sister, brother, friend, doula or whoever there as support then their level of involvement in the birth is at the discretion of the healthcare professionals and the mother. That is a simple fact.

It doesn't mean evil men should be banned from the delivery room or that evil men should never be supported with the difficulty of supporting a woman through labour.

It is correct however to say that anyone other than the mother who is receiving care during labour has the same status - derived from the mother's wishes.

It's necessary and justified because the mother is the one who is receiving care, not anyone else.

That was not my point. That was posed as a question in response to a post you made.
Your original post(point of view) that men's feelings don't matter is somewhat removed from your last post that is is up to the woman who supports her. If you had read my comments properly then you would have seen that I had agreed with that view.
It is perfectly possible to recognise and acknowledge the feelings of a child's father without permitting them into a delivery room.
You obviously don't undertand anything I have said.
Let's just leave it.

No one is disputing that Offred

Marcher, I was in precisely the same situation, and whilst my sister took me to various appointments when it came to the crunch I did it without a birth partner.

It was awesome. If I'd felt strongly I'd have called my sister back or hustled up a friend but it was nicer not to. I had a student midwife so got one to one care of the student and her supervisor (?). We had quite a good laugh given the circs!

I called ex a few hours later to let him know. No way was he going to be anywhere near me during childbirth.

Supermanspants" Apologies, I read a comment further up the thread by someone else and thought it was you. It was actually Marilyn* who seemed to question why he shouldn't be there. That's what I was really responding to - the thought of an ex having the right to be in the delivery room is baffling to me.

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definitely definitely definitely ask your friends! Honestly, I think they'd want to help.

Actually I wasn't questioning why he wouldn't be there, I was simply asking, as the father of the child, if he would be there. The OP gave a very reasonable answer in that he will be in the hospital but, as is her right, she doesn't want him there all the time. As someone who had their dh there throughout all three births and found him to be a 'needy' PITA , I can quite understand, why , in the circumstances now revealed, she doesn't want him there.

And yes yes to asking a friend. I had bf their for last two. So much more supportive than dh

I would think & start looking into a Doula if you dont feel able to ask friends.

Ive given birth twice without a 'birth partner'. It was fine. I couldnt have asked for better care.

Best wishes for a happy & healthy pregnancy.

Thanks everyone. Lots to think about!