Is it selfish to be thinking about grandchildren?

[zas1]

I have previously posted amongst other things about my abusive ex DH, a relationship which ended not before time 17 years ago. The only good thing to come out of it was my now 23 yo DS. It has coincided with me thinking about maybe not being in another relationship that I have been thinking about what it would be like to have DGCs. Maybe some form of transference going on?

Yes. Live for the now. Tomorrow is promised to no one. If another relationship isn't for you, that's fine, but that needs to be because you don't want it, not for a future that hasn't materialised. There's no need to be in a relationship. Plenty of people live happily without one.

One shouldn't expect one's children to provide one with grandchildren. Though its wonderful when it happens.

Start thinking about your own life and how to enrich it. Don't close your mind to a new relationship, just accept that you don't have to scrabble to find one.

Your son is the same age as mine, OP, and though I would love to think of him having children some day, I really wouldn't think it was the best thing for him now. For most men, 23 is too young - they don't have anywhere permanent to live, they've not been working long and need to wait a while before they earn a reasonable wage, and any woman they are with they have only known a relatively short time.

Besides, for whatever reason he may not choose to have children or might not find a suitable partner or might not be able to have children. You can't live as though that's inevitable.

If you've had a tough time, focus on yourself now. Do things that will make you happy. Love your son as well as you can but don't rush him into the next stage of his life.