OH anxiety, please talk me down

[PassiveAgressiveQueen]

I have been with my OH for over 20 years, a couple of years after we got together he began having panic attacks about almost everything fun.
We didn't recognise them as this for quite a while but i spotted the pattern that he was sick on days when we were due to go out, he refused to agree for many years.
Once he did agree he went for a 6 week course of CBT, which honestly did bugger all, and he has been on pills ever since.
He has improved a lot we can now go to the cinema and out for meals, and if i introduce new people to him slowly after a while we can go out with them (well he still gets sick but ignores it).

I regularily ask him to go for help but he refuses, he has refused again today and i want to say, get help or get out. i have been considerate and caring for 18 years now I WANT A LIFE with my partner.

I am sick of doing so much stuff by myself as he is too ill (amazing how often he is ill days we have planned that involve new people, like my work collegues).

K1mberley, your posts are horribly patronising and unpleasant.

I'm not sure why you have taken such umbrage at me explaining why a work presentation could be so much harder for some people than a social gathering.

Go and pick an argument with someone else please.

He is on omeprazole and citalopram.

I have not taken umbrage at your explanation. I have pointed out that you have misquoted me several times .

I am not picking an argument, I'm stating my views . That's allowed on a discussion board . I'm sorry if you find people disagreeing with you unpleasant and patronising .

Now perhaps we could get back to the OP s issue .

I am not picking an argument, I'm stating my views.

You were making patronising, ill informed comments based on incorrect assumptions about how it feels to have social anxiety and find social chit chat difficult. The problem doesn't miraculously go away once someone has come up with one of the conversation starters you so helpfully listed.

I have pointed out that you have misquoted me several times

Up until now, I haven't quoted you, never mind misquoted you

I made no assumptions about how it feels to have social anxiety . You have no idea what my experience is . I didn't say it miraculously goes away .

Your repeatedly attacking me for what I didn't say is rather annoying, please stop it. And let the Op have her thread back .

K1mberley - jeez, that was a bit harsh!

I made no assumptions about how it feels to have social anxiety

K1mberley, you told me what people expect of me in social situations, assuming I wasn't aware.

You gave me helpful conversation starters assuming I was not intelligent enough to think of them myself.

You made assumptions about me putting pressure on and having unreasonable expectations of myself.

All in response to me trying to help the OP by explaining why her OH might find social situations harder than work presentations.

Conversation starters don't help anything but the very start of the conversation.

My perception of social anxiety and what it feels like to have to sustain social chit chat may be different from yours but it is not wrong or unreasonable. Your responses indicate strongly that you don't understand the stress involved for some people in spending an evening making conversation with a group of people you don't know well.

You don't get to derail someone's thread by patronising another poster, have your say then keep instructing them not to respond in the interests of returning the thread to its track in faux concern for the OP.

If you really don't want to derail the thread any further, feel free to stop being so goady.