I have 75% custody but no residency order

[BrandonFlowerslover]

Can I move 120 miles away and take the children with me? We would live in a nicer town, I would live with my partner in his home. My Ex DH pays a pittance in maintenance (self employed, declares a fifth of what he earns, pays me £35 pw for 2 children!), so I struggle every month to support our DC and provide for them.
Any advice?

Let's clarify that I have been Miss Independent my whole adult life and have relied on no man to put a roof over my head or pay my bills. Even when I was in the marital house, I used to own my own house (which exDH convinced me to sell, and he took a big wedge of the equity, but that's another story!) and one of the many reasons why the marriage broe down is that I was single-handedly supporting DC alone, paying for bills and childcare, paying DH's debts, etc. I was effectively a doormat (working, taking care of the house, the kids, cooking and shopping) and not a lady of leisure or someone who needed a man to support her financially. Since I have moved out most of my income has gone towards rent and I have relied on tax credits for childcare, etc.
Anotheremma, will ask for solicitor's advice, but the 3 I have spoken to have tod me they would need payment go along, which means before the financial settlement.
RandomMess, I wouldn't do that, it would be traumatic for the children. .
They see their dad at weekends now
LilaThiger, I was single for over a year before I me current partner, then we split up because we were not seeing a lot of each other and he cheated on me. We both moved on but 6 months ago have started seeing each other again and it's great. My DC get on very well with him (one of them said to me "mum, please marry DP").
I fully understand what an abusive relationship is, and know the signs tha point towards a pathological dynamic.

"Anotheremma, will ask for solicitor's advice, but the 3 I have spoken to have tod me they would need payment go along, which means before the financial settlement."
Just keep looking until you find one who agrees for you to pay when you get the settlement.

Also, not my place to judge, but I don't think you should move your children 120 miles to live with someone who cheated on you.

Not divorced yet (split up 6 years ago but DH refusedto acknowledge divorce petition

Your other posts in one thread suggest you were still with him, but planning to leave, three years ago.
That sounds like much upheaval for the kids if you have been separated 3 years whilst with your DP on and off for 2 1/2.

If you know your eldest DS wouldn't want to, surely it's not a consideration? How many other children do you have and what do you think they would want to do? How old is your DS? Could he stay with his dad?

Just read latest post - you were single for over a year? I think you must have your time frames mixed up a little.

AnotherEmma, maybe you're right, but I have since been able to trust him again. There's no guarantee that we'll stay together forever, but I don't think I would ever be able to make a decision based on that certainty because it doesn't exist. Certainly since we've been back together he has behaved differently- has wanted me to meet his family and friends, etc.

Where you move to and why is surely your own business. So long as the children are in a safe situation (ie you're not moving them to a cardboard box beside a crocodile pit) continue their usual contact with their father and you are prepared to commit to doing the travelling so their father does not lose hours of his contact time to driving and gain petrol costs as a result of your choice, I don't see why any court would prevent you moving anywhere? Would a court really have the power to prevent a person moving to another location in the UK? There are women who post regularly here where contact is shared by parents at larger distances than this and other than arrangements on who does the travelling with the children having been formalised it doesn't seem to affect the contact order.

Their father may want to go back to court to have formally recorded your commitment to do the travelling and to ensure the children's current level of contact with him is maintained which is fair enough (would you still be able to do that journey every weekend if that is how often they see him?).

Alice, exDH ad I lived under the roof for years after splitting up!
Apart from a couple of short term relationships in that time (online dating), the first important relationship (since marriage breakdown) was with DP.

RumbleinThrjungle, well, yes, that's exactly what I would like to know. I've read somewhere that when there is shared parental responsibility, one parent cannot move further than 60 miles away without either the ex DH's permission or a judge's permission.

Certainly since we've been back together he has behaved differently- has wanted me to meet his family and friends, etc.

You mean he didnt introduce you to his family in the first 2 years of your relationship?

In your shoes i would be waiting a lot longer than 6 months after he cheated to be sure of him before taking my children 120 miles from their father and everyone they know.

Your judgement is skew whiff. Why the rush to move?

I hope the fear that he will stray again, isn't fuelling your haste in installing yourself pdq in this mans house.

May I suggest you make time for the Freedoom Programme. Your inability to see the huge risk in moving you and your children 120 miles, to live with your on-again bf of six months, who cheated on you and who you've never lived with before, is of great concern. This is a massive gamble for your children, given the insecurity of their recent past.

How much of your desire to move i with your dp is fuelled by your desire to get away from where you are and to solve the problems of you being where you are?

You keep stating how much better you will be placed financially and childcare-wise. Is that what this proposed move is about?

Think carefully. Do the Freedom Programme.

Jux, I don't have a plan to move in with DP and, while it would solve many problems, it's not a decision I would take lightly, as I have to considier the emotional impact on my children, potential trauma, practicalities, exDH waging a war, and of course on the relationship with DP too (too much for him, to suddenly find himself part of my family and giving up a lot of his current freedom?).
I guess the point of this thread for me is to know if it is at all legally possible, so that I know if it can ever happen or not.
As for the Freedom Programme- yes, I recognise I was in an abusive relationship but I came out of it, I understand what an unhealthy relationship is and I don't think I am susceptible to another one.
Really, I am not traumatised by it- although I suffer from anxiety, I am sure a counsellor is not going to tell me anything I don't know on the subject.
I guess I am jealous of those mothers in a marriage, sharing all the responsibilities, debts, childcare, chores, holidays,, worries and fun times, it's such a cushy feeling that so many maybe take for granted, to know that there's a DH there supporting you and the DC.