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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you actually leave?

3 replies

Marcher · 21/10/2015 06:40

Once you have made this final decision that it's over, how do you actually leave? It feels like it's going to be such a long process, but I want to do it quickly for the kids and so I can be settled before the baby is born.

OP posts:
Lweji · 21/10/2015 06:43

Do you have a place to stay? Cash for a deposit?
Or are you hoping he'll move out?

Marcher · 21/10/2015 06:58

We own our home.
If he moves out, I cannot afford the mortgage.

OP posts:
ILiveAtTheBeach · 21/10/2015 15:04

You'll need to decide whether he will stay in the marital home and buy you out, or whether the marital home will need to be sold. My ExH stayed in the marital home. He had to get a 2nd Mortgage to buy me out - he gave me that cash to put down as a deposit on a new home. This meant that his mortgage payments doubled overnight, but he could afford it (I was paid less and could not have done so, hence I had to be the one to leave).

Lately I've heard that sometimes you can delay splitting up assets and you the Mum can stay in marital home, until youngest DC is 18 years old. I'd ask a Solicitor for info about that. Personally, I wouldn't want our finances to be interlinked after separation!

In most cases one person cannot afford the mortgage alone, and so the house is sold and the money split between you.

You'll also need to consider splitting up other assets, like shares/cars/furniture (or cash value of). Remember that Pensions are also to be considered. If his is larger than yours, you can get a cash amount for the difference.

Hopefully you can agree without a Sol (a separation agreement is about £1.5k on each side. Not cheap!

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