I'm so confused

[db5]

I seem to have developed a major crush on someone I hardly know and it's totally knocked me for six. I know nothing would ever come of it (not in the least because I wouldn't have an affair), but I can't seem to help daydreaming about him or even being single which is just stupid because, up until now my relationship with dh has been fine. he's a great guy, really kind & caring and good father etc. I feel I may be having a seven year itch or something, but I just feel totally crap about it. Just getting things off my chest really 'cos I've got no-one to talk to and it feels like it's all in my head and I may talk myself into knots!

DO NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR!

In what way is this Crush so appealing, and how does he compare for better or worse with dh? A nice crush is lovely as long as you can contain yourself, but it is not lovely if it is an escape from something awry in the marital department.

Does he know you exist? Does he flirt with you? If he seems totally unaware of you, then it is all in your head and you should think about whether there is something to address in your relationship with your dh.

If he is flirting with you, keep your distance until the crush dies down.

pretty sure it's all in my head. as I said I wouldn't have an affair anyway, but it's like something switched on in my head and it won't go away. I barely know him - my dh does - he's an old school friend he is back in touch with since starting school run. We (three of us) went out last week to meet up with some other school friends , but there was hardly chance to talk as music was too loud. don't want anything to happen - it's mostly just putting doubts in my head which weren't there before.

Enjoy the day-dreaming! As long as it doesn't get in the way of your "real" life a little bit of a crush is nothing to worry about. Being married doesn't mean you no longer find other people attractive, it just means you no longer do anything about it. You're only human FGS. And the fact that you hardly know this guy is probably WHY you find him attractive - you don't know him therefore you can project all the things you find attractive in a man onto a blank canvas. If you get to know him better you'll probably find out he's nothing like the fantasy and the crush will disappear.

On the other hand, if this crush is threatening your relationship with your DH or you are seriously tempted to act on the crush then put some distance between yourself and this guy.

Agree Mistletoe, I am always 'fancying' other men. Wouldn't do anything about it though!

It would hardly be worth going to work if I didn't have someone to gaze at over the photocopier!

I feel like I have been through this scenario soo many times, I can epathise with you.
In my experience, they fade away, though I did have one that I felt was mutual when DH and I were not married and now and again it plays on my mind, but I know I love DH and that it is silly to think on what could have been but sometimes I can't help it.
I hate it when it comes into my mind but I just try to banish the silly thoughts and they fade within a few days.
In the past, when I would get these silly crushes it would all seems so real! They were hard to understand. That is why I call them 'silly', it was my way of playing them down in my head. But NOT seeing the person for a while and seeing what I HAD always made them seem insignificant too.
It will pass, it is probably just cos everything is changing and you may be finding it difficult to adjust that you are looking out for something that you think is better but I would say it is subconcious and that in the cold light of day you will wonder why you ever looked at that person it that way at all.
Sorry, I talk a lot!
But that is normally why they happened to me, once our rocky patch passed, so did the crush.
That would have been a quicker way of saying it!!!