How becoming parents can affect your relationship

[sunshineandshade]

It seems like all me and dp have been doing is arguing since dd was born 2 months ago. I still love him but we don't seem to get on anymore. We don't have time for eachother, and il admit i have been using all my energy focussing on dd, i want to make it work with dp, we haven't been out together since dd was born but i can't seem to allow myself to leave her with anyone else. Its got so bad that dp suggested we take a break and spend a few weeks apart to decide what to do and where to go from here. Im not sure this will help and i don't want our relationship to fail.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?
Is this normal/common?
Why does it happen?
Does it get better?

I think it is very common.

It didn't get better for us and we split.

Your focus should be on your DC, so should his,from what I've read on here the relationships that seam to survive are the ones where the parenting and workload is split and each person gets time to themselves.

It is very common as pp said. Are you arguing about anything specific?

You should be focussing on your dd anyway, she's only 2 months old. My oh and I didn't go out together for 6 months and even then it was just for an hour.

Don't make any major relationship decisions in the first year. A break is a bad idea imo. You need to be supporting each other right now. If you have a break you will be left doing everything alone whilst your dp shirks his responsibilities.

Make time for each other once dd is in bed if possible. We had "date nights" at home when our ds was in bed. It's really important to take what time you can to reconnect. You'll both be tired and adjusting to parenthood. Give yourselves a break and pull together.

I have been solely focusing on dd and don't want to leave her with someone else to look after her whilst I go out. Dp and family make me feel like I deserve to be exhausted because I won't drop dd off with a grandparent and leave to have a break as they keep saying. I would rather take dd with me if I wanted to go somewhere because I didnt have her to palm her off on to other people. Dp had decided on a break anyway even though i didn't want one. I might not have been the easiest of people to live with over the last couple of months but I've been exhausted with constant nursing and up all night with dd and her reflux. it's not looking like dp actually wants to be a father

I wasn't ready to leave my son by then either. I still don't leave him long due to breastfeeding. Do you think it would be easier without your dp? Why won't he help with his child?!

My son is 6 months and I find it hard to leave him with his dad for a couple of hours, I'm certainly not ready to leave him with anyone else. There seems to be a lot of pressure for mums to separate from young babies, fine for those who want to but there are plenty who don't.

I'm not getting on very well with my DP either, no advice but you're far from alone on that front either.