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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drunken mistake ? And morning after recriminations

6 replies

Bloodywellhowmuch · 19/10/2015 09:49

Mr BWHM is still living at home and he has one more week of reasonable time in which to move out as I'm trying to stay amicable with him for the sake of the kids and he was the one who said he was leaving.

Anyways last night he cooked dinner for us all, we shared a bottle of wine, talked about inconsequential daily stuff, kids went to bed, we shared another bottle and ended up DTD although I slept in my bed and not the marital one.

I'm disappointed with myself for allowing it to happen, I'm cross as it was wonderful and just what I needed, peed off because until he announced he was leaving, we were DTD very regularly and I didn't know anything was wrong (apart from his affair that we were trying to move on from). But most of all I'm angry with myself for possibly thinking there could be more if he decided he wanted to stay no matter how much he is currently hurting me. We have always been good together and sex has never dwindled away between us.

Please tell me I wasn't stupid or that I should beg him to stay because of it and hold my hand when it starts to get really rough over the weekend.

OP posts:
Jan45 · 19/10/2015 12:06

You made a mistake through being drunk, don't beat yourself up.

As for him, he sounds delightful, had an affair and then takes the opportunity for a shag, nice.

Just don't put yourself in that position again.

HumboldtFog · 19/10/2015 12:14

If it makes you feel any better, lots of separating/divorcing couples end up DTD at some point during the split.

Agree with Jan45, don't beat yourself up and ensure you don't put yourself in the same position again. I've done this twice, once during a divorce and once during the 'ending' of a LTR. Alcohol was involved both times.

stoppingbywoods · 19/10/2015 12:44

What a git. Walk on.

Cherrybakewells1 · 19/10/2015 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NumbBlaseCold · 19/10/2015 14:22

You made a mistake, it happens.

You weren't stupid at all.

No begging.

Bloodywellhowmuch · 19/10/2015 22:02

Thanks guys for pointing out that I'm not the only one who does this, there isn't a right or wrong way to behave I know. I like plans though and solid events and right now I'm treading a very different path than I ever thought I would and I find myself lost.

OP posts:
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