Together but living apart

[Sunbeam18]

Just wondering if anyone has experience of moving from a living-together-with-our-child situation to a living-apart-but-not-splitting-up situation, with shared care of our child. DP and I moved in together shortly before the birth of our son (now 2) and find it very hard to live together. We each own a flat in the same street and so are proposing to live apart with a bedroom in each flat for our son. We will still do family things together a few times a week and share care of our son. Interested to hear of others who have done similar as don't know anyone who has.

Are you channelling Helena Bonham Carter?

Will you consider yourselves a couple? Will you/he be free to date someone else?

Quite similar I think to the Helena B-C model! Though they have now split!

Still be a couple, won't be dating anyone else. It's just about an incompatibility to live together. I think we get on fine if we each have our own space.

Why not have one flat as the family flat where your son always stays and then you both split time between the other for your "me time". Gives stability to your son. No reason why this can't work if you want it to.

I think if you want to make it work, you can. It sounds quite pleasant!

I was going to suggest what Shiny said.

Do you both work?

If you both have a place each and it helps you both maintain a relationship with each other then I can't see the harm in it. A little non traditional but who cares if it makes you both happy. Your child is better off being brought up by two happy parents living apart than two unhappy parents living together.

Both work part time flexibly and are financially independent. Finances always been separate.

So how will you claim tax credits/child benefit?

I'm asking if anyone has done something similar to what we propose to do, that's all. Thanks !