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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship Advise from the elders please

35 replies

BenMartinez · 17/10/2015 19:24

I'm not going to explain anything yet. I just want to see what everyone has to say about this conversation.

Ben: Eve
A: Yes?
Ben: Are you busy
A: Not atm why
Ben: Talk to me please I feel really depressed
A: FaceTime?
Ben: Oh no no I'm crying
A: Why
Ben: Because I'm upset
A: Because of what?
Ben: Everything
Ben: I hate this life
A: Can you just be specific and tell me what's up because I'm not going to ask you questions just to find out
Ben: I'm serious Eve everything in my life I am not happy with
Ben: I don't see the point
A: And how can I help you with that?
Ben: Be my friend
A: I am your friend
Ben: Look after me
A: ...
Ben: I don't know
A: There is never a happy conversation with you is there
Ben: Sorry
A: You need to start creating your own happiness instead of relying on other people for it
A: What's wrong with your life exactly?
A: And don't leave the chat since I'm here and you're the one that needs help
Ben: I don't know how to be happy
A: Enjoy the small things in life
Ben: What do you expect me to do when you tell me there is never happy convos with me
Ben: Everything
A: Pick up and I don't care that you're crying
Ben: living with parents still. A buisness that is not making a stable income. The type of friends that I have. Not knowing about us. The mentality of how my brain makes me think. Everything Eve just everything
Ben: Smoking weed all this time I haven't been myself in so long
Ben: Life is hard and long I do not enjoy it
A: Why can't you just pick up
Ben: You haven't rang me ?
A: I have, times
Ben: One sec
Ben: What's your number
A: but I think you need + in front
Ben: I don't know if it has worked or not
A: Nope
Ben: What other numbers you have
Ben: Your not my friend you don't care about me if you did you would be nice not like that. You wouldn't talk to your sister or pati or Enrika like this would you. Forgot I came to you for help
A: If you can't talk to me on the phone, don't bother texting me pls
Ben: Did you even just read what I said
A: Yeah but you had your chance on the phone, now I don't care
Ben: Your always stressed towards me. It's exactly the same way you did before when you was in America.
Ben: Okay
Ben: I just want you to know that it really does hurt me how you are with me now. Like how we just sat on that field and talked at first. It wasn't bf and gf talking it was kinda best friends
A: I don't need to surround myself with negativity though because I got my life on a good track and I love it
Ben: If that's all you see me as then don't let me ruin what you have
A: Yea I'm not
Ben: I'm sorry
A: If you don't like all of these things in your life then do something about them instead of moaning all the time..
A: If you want a stable job, go get one or work harder on your business
A: Save money up instead of spending it on shit and save up for a deposit for a flat or a house
A: So you don't have to live with your mum anymore
A: There's nothing you can do about me and you and if you want a stable girlfriend then go find one, I won't stand in your way
Ben: But I love only you
A: Don't like the way your thought process works, go see a psychologist
A: Just stop being so hang up on me!
Ben: Do you just want me to move on ?
A: You wanted us to befducking other people while I was the one asking you to come here with me
Ben: But Eve how you was with me before and how it all happened would you of took that chance again?
A: Fuck knows but we could have tried so now you have yourself to blame
A: Because I enjoy my life too much now
Ben: Okay well maybe I did make a mistake that I will most likely regret forever now
Ben: How did you stop being so hung up on me ?
Ben: Please don't go
Ben: I don't know if I want to be alive anymore. Me seriously telling you this does it effect you ?
A: Yes but you just ruin my mood by telling me this right now
Ben: Okay I'm sorry I see that your mood is more important then my life
A: Just stop pissing me off!!
Ben: Okay
A: I don't know how to help you because you're negative /
Ben: No I'm not
A: I told you what to do so either do it or keep complaining
Ben: When I'm done I turn to the only person whom I feel comfortable enough to tell things to which is you because I've never been so close with anyone before. Maybe I should contact you more when I a just happy I dunno
Ben: Depressed*
Ben: I have so much love for you but I don't think it will ever be enough for you now
A: You just make me depressed
Ben: I want to make you smile
A: I was so happy the whole day, telling my mum about all the positive things in my life and now I'm depressed because of you
A: You don't make me smile
Ben: When you say things that make me smile doesn't it make you happy ?
Ben: Don't be depressed
A: No
Ben: weeks before you left for Spain you can't tell me you haven't felt like that in a long time ?
Ben: I made you smile then
A: I don't want to talk now
Ben: This is a time where I really need you as my friend though
Ben: I don't want you to feel depressed I just want to see you smile
A: Then stop being depressing about your life because your life is not bad at all. You live with your mum which means you have money to spend on other things, you have a business that yeah okay doesn't bring stable income but it brings you income and if you really don't have money then go find a - job and do your business in your free time
Ben: I know you are right Eve in a way but the main thing at the back of my mind constantly is you
Ben: Like I'm not even sure why you still have contact with me
A: Then think about other things, go and meet other girls, you're single to do whatever
A: How is thinking about me going to help you?
Ben: It's not something I can control
A: Well then learn
Ben: Do you love me Eve
A: I'm out now, I'll text you another time because it's rude for me to be texting all the time
A: Yes
A: But I don't like you
Ben: I want to be a better person that you like
Ben: You won't be about to talk later ? Or is it gonna be a diff day ?
A: I don't know if we're going out clubbing after so probably another day
Ben: Okay contact me when your free to talk then please
A: Probably tomorrow evening because I'm busy all day too
Ben: What timeish
A: I don't know so don't ask anymore these things...
Ben: I should be free onwards
Ben: Enjoy your evening
A: Ok
A: You too
Ben: Please come home and talk to me tonight please Eve somethings really wrong with me I've not felt this before. Please just make me your priority just for tonight
A: If I don't go out then I'll be back around anyway...
Ben: I don't care what time I don't want to feel like this
A: You kept telling me over the summer like times that I'm not your priority so you're not mine either
Ben: Just for tonight Eve
A: No
Ben: I'm stupid Eve okay
Ben: I think I made the wrong choice
A: Yea I know
A: With what
Ben: With not putting more thought in to making this work from the point we started talking again
A: Okay but I don't want to make it work until I come back
Ben: I have smoked weed everyday all the time when we was meeting up I it for z long time I have not been myself
Ben: Everything is just weird and fake
Ben: I know I'm too late now
A: I'm not getting back with you any time soon though so pls get that into your head
Ben: Nothing will happen until you are back here init
Ben: But I need you more in my life Eve I can't risk loosing you
A: But I'm fine with the amount of contact we had so far..
Ben: I need to prove to you that I can be the better person I should be
A: Please just stop talking to me now, it's really starting to annoy me
A: I didn't come out with friends to be on the phone texting you

OP posts:
MaudGonneMad · 17/10/2015 19:31

God almighty. Which are you? Are you Ben?

RoisinIwanttofightyourfather · 17/10/2015 19:32

Ben needs to stop smoking weed and take charge of his life and moods. And stop putting a downer on Eve (for that is she)

Phoenix69 · 17/10/2015 19:42

There are so many valuable people in life.
Weed smoking twats are not one of them.
Advice from an elder - stop wasting your time. Block Ben. Get on with your life. Life is short.

Chillyegg · 17/10/2015 19:47

Well A sounds like a twat.

Ben needs to get a grip, is also a twat but may also be going through some shit.

Chillyegg · 17/10/2015 19:49

Ok just reread.

Bens a twat. Ignore him.

A is harsh but I see why

laughingatweather · 17/10/2015 19:51

I'd wonder why one of you is taping and transcribing your conversations.

TeaPleaseLouise · 17/10/2015 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eddielizzard · 17/10/2015 19:56

block ben. he should stop wallowing and weed.

there. sorted.

HirplesWithHaggis · 17/10/2015 20:00

Laughingatweather, I think it's a text convo, not a verbal one.

Ben needs to get him/herself together, A/Eve has suggested ways to do this.

And it's not by whining at her when she's out with friends.

Sorry, Ben.

ENtertainmentAppreciated · 17/10/2015 20:22

I think it's unreasonable to solicit advice without giving context.

DarkNavyBlue · 17/10/2015 20:44

What do I have to say about that conversation?

Too long to read all of it. Comes across as self indulgent, both in the origional and in the posting of it on here.

Fairenuff · 17/10/2015 21:12

I didn't read it all. What do you want OP?

Oysterbabe · 17/10/2015 21:47

If I were A I wouldn't have the patience for Ben I'm afraid.

MatildaTheCat · 17/10/2015 21:47

Strange.

fearandloathinginambridge · 17/10/2015 21:53

I couldn't read the whole thing. Could you give a précis? It's impossible to give advice based on this.

spanisharmada · 17/10/2015 22:01

A needs to run a fucking mile.
Ben should go to the Dr.

Fairenuff · 17/10/2015 22:01

I don't see the point of this thread Confused

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2015 22:19

What do you want from this? Because clearly it's not advice or you would have some context.

usual · 17/10/2015 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoveCazzoEIlMioCaffe · 17/10/2015 23:31

Can anyone tell me where I can get a refund on the time I spent reading that grammatically painful constant stream of emotionally constipated drivel?

shadowfax07 · 18/10/2015 00:16

I'd tell Ben that he needs to see his GP as a matter of urgency for his depression, and I'd tell Eve (or A) to block his number.

pigsDOfly · 18/10/2015 00:33

Eh?

BertieBotts · 18/10/2015 00:34

I think everyone in this conversation is about fifteen, and I'd say: Don't worry. It all gets better in about three years. P.S. You will look back and cringe really, really hard.

HirplesWithHaggis · 18/10/2015 01:22

You mean Eve and Ben's convo, in the OP, I hope Bertie, I almost felt a bit insulted there! Grin

elizadofuckall · 18/10/2015 02:22

I think that Eve needs to stop confusing someone bringing her mood down with depression. And Ben needs to stop being a manipulative twat.