Men & sex

[Eggfriedrice33]

Can men really just fuck & have no 'connection' with the person they're shagging? Even if that sex was fantastic, long & playful? I have a feeling I've been used Or do you think there has to be something there if only small?

I don't know if biologically men are programmed to be able to have sex with any one regardless of psychological connection but socially they are encouraged to at least pretend they can, whilst women still have to be seen to be doing it for love.

Not in my social circles, Theydontknow, though of course I can't speak for everyone!

I think the moral of the thread is; some people feel they need an emotional connection for sex, some don't. Some people are male, some are female (*there may be other gender identities, too). Some people feel various social/cultural pressures around sex and relationships, some don't. Stereotyping and generalisations, gender based or otherwise, help no one.

Has the OP even come back to the thread, as it seemed like they had a problem they wanted to talk about?

I think arsenal is bang on, having sex with a woman will not change how many men feel about the woman.

And yes some men can have sex yes even great sex and feel no emotional connection whatsoever, some men can't.

Also I don't really understand what people mean when they say they felt used even if they really enjoyed the sex? I mean did you want to have sex or not? If you did in what way were you used?

In reply to the OP. Yes, especially those who just ticked boxes along the way.

This applies to women also.

How they square this with the person they choose to live with in retirement (they are always on a third long term relationship), is another matter.

I have had sex with men who would appear to have no emotional connection to me. I've had sex with men with whom I've no emotional connection before, during and afterwards. Without exception the sex has not been good in those circumstances. What that says about the men and me is, I think, dependent on one's personal code of conduct.

It's not a male/female thang. It's down to the individual person, surely?

Personally, I could never sleep with someone that I didn't have strong feelings for. The thought of a one night stand with a stranger makes me shudder. Though, if Aidan Turner came a-knocking with a rakish smile and a come hither glint in his eyes I reckon I wouldn't shudder too much

Yes some very easily can.

So can some women.

Why do you feel used?

Did you think a relationship would come if the sex was good, settling for sex in the hopes of more?

Or were you exclusive and now you've had sex he has cooled off?

I have had very fantastic sex without any connection to the man, it's very possible.

Equally I've had bad sex with an old partner I loved and stuck it out for.

As a man I can have sex with someone without feeling or emotion. It's a purely physical act. Some of my exes have been rubbish in bed but I loved them for who they were but they were never going to last.

Some women who I have shagged were great in bed but horrible outside. Finding a woman who is great in both ways is tough!

I am not into prostitutes as what I like is the conquest.

A fuck is a fuck sometimes. Great sex of itself has nothing to do with emotional connection.

Most of the best sex I've had was emotionally meaningless and I'm a woman.

Why do you feel used? Is it because he promised you more or because you assumed there would be more?