Little things that make you think of someone in that way

[bridie69]

Apologies for a terrible title. My line manager is a guy a couple of years younger than me. Never ever thought of him in a "fancying" way at all. Then I saw him in action in a meeting and saw for the first time why the company hired him. Curiously I don't know something almost intangible changed about his appearance too, became better dressed, maybe some gym work, posture. There is no way anything will develop so don't worry, just I have been reading a lot on human psychology at the moment and find this process interesting. Just wondered if anyone else ever had a change of perception like this.

Yes. I have often found with friends that I sort of 'fall' a little for them and they become more attractive to me (male and female).

There is definitely an attraction in seeing someone do something well - it almost doesn't matter what it is - driving, cooking, their line of work - but it can be very attractive

If you have a steamy dream about someone you'd never looked at 'that way' it's happened to me a few times.

Maybe this is just personal, but I think there's something really attractive about someone performing in front of a crowd - small or large - and really holding the room.

I still get butterflies when I see DH do it!!

shovetheholly, that sounds interesting.

Is your husband a musician, shovetheholly?

No, far less glam than that - he's a uni professor! But he gets passionate and strides up and down and even though I've seen it a thousand times before it still has a strange magic for me. I think part of it must be the transformation from the 'everyday person' to a slightly more 'public persona'??

I formerly dated an actor, so I guess there must be some kind of thing in this stage stuff for me. Weirdly, watching him do TV work was a lot less 'thrilling' than theatre work. God knows what this all says about my psychology! Probably something not very positive!!

Not a Chippendale then? Oh well.

Bridie I had a change of perception practically overnight about a friend of mine. Never thought of him in that way until he said something in an extremely sexually charged way. Change of tone in his voice, flirty manner, the twinkle in his eye if you like.

Totally different person when he went into flirt mode. Also gave off an air which suggested he knew how to please a woman he does

After then he couldn't really put a foot wrong. He used to help me out with things I couldn't manage, cleaning my upstairs outside windows etc and where I thought he was kind before I thought he was wonderful after that.

It only takes one little thing to change your perception.

Oh yes, I'd been friends with a guy for around ten years, completely platonic and nothing there at all, he was firmly in the friend zone until we ended up at a mutual friend's wedding and were pretty much thrown together at the reception. Nothing happened (he had a long term girlfriend at the time) but I remember thinking there was a spark, and how lucky his girlfriend was because he was so nice, and how had I never noticed that he really was quite cute before?!

Long story short, we ended up getting together about two years later (way after he dumped his ex for unrelated reasons, I'd like to add), and I'm now 26 weeks pregnant, sat in the house we bought together and am blissfully happy with it all. We discussed our friend's wedding on our first date after a few drinks, and he admitted that was the night he started to see me differently too, it's so weird. Very glad both of our perceptions changed, and I still don't know what the hell it was that night that made us both have a lightbulb moment!

Yes it is fascinating. A look, a change in the pitch of the voice or someone finally wearing the right cut suit, shade of shirt etc all do it for me or for others. Curious thing is, once someone is out of the "friend/boss/coworker" zone and into the "wonder what he would be like....." zone they seem to stay there. Personally think of I were a man I would focus on scent and dress sense as boy do they make a difference. ..off to have some not entirely chaste thoughts about a certain person over a glass of prosecco