BIL and his other half moving near us. They have no kids. Just 8 miles away. Dh obviously delighted. There is a back story to this but namely, we are NC with all of DH's father side (about 15 members of family) and for very very good reasons and for the protection of my children.
BIL is from Dh's mother's side (DH's parents divorced). They are blood brothers. Although we used to get along, I've put BIL at arms length and I have probably only seen him twice this year so far. Partly as BIL leads his own busy life, partly as we do the same but consciously because I don't want him in my life. I accept BIL will always be in dc's life and dh's. And given that I am the social butterfly and organise most socials - it's no accident that he isn't in my life and thus we don't see him much.
I just feel uncomfortable with BIL being so close, due to history and due to the fact the NC side of family will be visiting him and zipping up the motorway near my own home town. I had enjoyed being at a distance, it helped us heal as a family.
I'm afraid of having my children be involved more with BIL and having them exposed to NC family too. They are small now but I can't protect them forever and really, what right do I have when they are adolescents or young adults to say no, you can't see such and such due to a major historical event 15 years ago?
It's me that has the problem and I need to get over it. Please tell me it's possible or else I'll be the one looking to move again in the future!!