Down, please read if you can

[Homely1]

I have posted before...the issue is with child contact of my toddler DC. Separated H wants DC every weekend... A day one then the whole weekend the other. DH has been so flakey not wants this then returned demanding his rights. Solicitors involved.

So I said that need to introduce DC to this as DC not had alone time with him. His response was ok but he still wants what he wants is every weekend... How is this fair? Does he not see that DC will not have a whole weekend with mum?

I am finding it really difficult to accept that it is ok for DC to stay elsewhere for the night.

i may not be much use but don't want to read and run x You are totally right, dc is not a parcel to be passed about, welfare of dcs comes before everything. Do you have support and legal advice?

It seems ex agrees in theory but won't take his time to build the relationship. Don't let him just wear you down.

Sorry I know this is dcs df, I meant build this new relationship of dc with H without you there x

He wouldn't get that in through in court, I don't think. Both parents should get whole weekends.

I completely understand that this won't work for you but if it helps, neither parent of my DSS get a whole weekend with him. He is with mum Fri night and Saturday day time, and with us Saturday night til Monday morning, and it works perfectly well for everyone involved! We never have to go a whole weekend without seeing him, but also each get an evening to ourselves every weekend.

Could you perhaps suggest that if he wants to see him every weekend, that it's just for one night? Or that he has him Saturday night and Sunday night so that you still get to spend every Saturday daytime with your son? Although I understand that this might not necessarily work and completely get that you'd want to have him for a whole weekend regularly.

I certainly wouldn't be pleased with your ex having your DSS for 3/4 of every two week weekend period (if that makes any sense!). Weekends should be split 50/50, either EOW as is the standard, or what we do with one night with mum and one with dad.

Sending hugs and hope you get this sorted out in a way you are happy with!!

Thank you all.... It's not fair.., my DC would only have 1 day in 2 weeks with me

Any chance you could work in 3-week cycles - weekend 1 (whole weekend) is with your ex, weekend 2 (whole weekend) is with you, weekend 3 is one day with you and one day with your ex?

Hmmm interesting

Why does he not want any time during the week? Alternate weekends plus a week night or 2 during the week are more usual/fair.

Do you work full time as well?

This is probably way in the future but bear in mind that what gets decided now may be stuck to for a long time sounds like he'll be inflexible so imagine a school aged child in this situation too. You most likely will want whole weekends as well. Don't let ex bully you into something you will regret later if weekdays at school then every Saturday and alternate Sundays with dad leaves you with one day a fortnight with your child yourself.

Yes exactly, thank you. Then when does DC do homework?!?