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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

custody battle ahead?

9 replies

tessie31082 · 14/10/2015 22:54

We've been on a 'break' that I initiated 2 1/2 weeks ago. ExDP has basically ended the relationship tonight. Our DS is 2 1/2 and living with me at the moment (exDP is with his parents at the moment) - what should I expect to happen if things turn sour with him and it goes to court? Will they do 50/50 care at his age or will they do one or two days a week after school and 1 day at the weekend or all weekend every other weekend? I'm not sure how I'd cope while he's this age if it was 50/50 or all weekend! Can someone with any experience with DC's this age let me knew their outcomes?
Thank you, Tessie.

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 14/10/2015 23:28

He'll be nearer 3 if it goes to court. So yes, every other weekend and one midweek day/night would be minimum

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 14/10/2015 23:29

What are your working arrangements and what are your ex's working arrangements?

Have you spoken to your ex about any of this? Could you come to an agreement amicably?

tessie31082 · 14/10/2015 23:39

For the 'break' it's been 2 x 1 1\2 - 2 hour midweek visits after work and (on exDPs terms) 4 1/2 hours one day at the weekend - I offered him longer but he said no! We both work mon- fri with no weekend work!

OP posts:
tessie31082 · 14/10/2015 23:40

I'm happy to stay on these terms but know that outside influences may change this arrangement once he's not living with his parents!

OP posts:
ThisWasCrownjewel · 14/10/2015 23:43

If he said no to longer than half a day with his son on a weekend when he'd only seen him for 3 hours during the week, I reckon the chances of him going for 50/50 are very slim.

Cabrinha · 14/10/2015 23:59

Are you aware that child arrangements don't get decided by courts routinely?
You and your ex are expected to decide between you, failing that you would go to mediation where they don't tell you who gets what, but facilitate you discussing and agreeing it.
So, you just propose what you have now, if that suits you both. It will only go to court (eventually) if you don't agree.
And you're right it could change as your child gets older - and at all times you should consider what's best for the child and accept the change if that is better for your child.

tessie31082 · 15/10/2015 07:06

Thank you.

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 15/10/2015 07:16

I'm not sure how I'd cope while he's this age if it was 50/50 or all weekend!

One thing you need to remember is that it is about what is best for your DC, not what is best for you. Wink

Homely1 · 15/10/2015 18:50

Equally though I do not know how a child who is used to be with mum would cope

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