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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gaslighting

6 replies

Atitagain2015 · 12/10/2015 18:42

Been married almost ten years. We've had our up and downs, lots of downs but still trying to make a go of it for the sake of our children. Today found out he's telling people I'm bipolar. I'm so upset. He used to say this years ago and tbh I thought he came to that conclusion because he knew nothing about women or what upset them. I've been called all the names under the sun nutcase, stupid woman, can't do anything. I've just come on here because years ago now I told him to stop talking badly about me behind my back to his friends, whom then I have to see. I don't talk badly about him. I'm embarrassed by his behaviour on this and I know I'm left feeling bad because of his own shortcomings. I know I have a short fuse and get annoyed but know I'm not bipolar and I'm so offended that my unhappiness at his behaviour has been whittled down to a medical disorder in myself. Oh ... I'm also in denial. Feel so disappointed because I feel everything is a sham and a facade. What do you think? How can someone who supposedly loves you mock you in this way? Anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
queenoftheknight · 12/10/2015 18:48

And his qualifications to make this diagnosis are what precisely?

queenoftheknight · 12/10/2015 18:49

And yes, I have experienced this. It is called gaslighting. It is abuse. It is cruel, and an awful, awful thing to live through.

It actually doesn't fool the professionals for a moment.

pictish · 12/10/2015 18:54

He sounds horrible...and thick too.

Atitagain2015 · 12/10/2015 19:09

He comes from a culture where the man is the head of household and I suspect women never raise their voices or answer back in disagreement rather they use their feminine charm to get what they want and cajole their husband whilst making him still feel he's pulling all the strings. I don't have time for games or the inclination I just say it as it is.

OP posts:
Atitagain2015 · 12/10/2015 19:10

He's an embarrasment

OP posts:
kittybiscuits · 12/10/2015 19:26

You are definitely qualified to say that Grin

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