Leaving DH but how to get him to accept it?

[Malamutes]

DH had an affairs in 2010, I wasn't strong enough at the time to leave him and he put it down to a drunken mistake, it was with my best mate - clearly I haven't forgotten or forgiven. AF and WWIFN were a wonderful support at the time and the LTB was unanimous from MN.

There are plenty of other issues which I don't want to go into but I have given him countless chances and he has said the right thing but then reverted back to type. I usually get the blame. He blames alcohol but refuses to accept he is an alcoholic and go to AA. Through counselling, me not him, I know I need to stop trying to change him.

I am a much stronger person now and have my career kind of on track, children are older and I feel able to leave him and have a chance of being happy. Until recently I honestly didn't think I deserved to be happy at the cost of my families happiness BUT a miserable mum is no good for anyone.

I told him a week ago I want to separate. He is trying to convince me otherwise, being lovely and looking really sad and then saying I am being selfish and owe it to our children to try again.

So, I am off to see a solicitor as soon as I can BUT this will break his heart if he just gets a letter saying I want a divorce so how can I convince him that I want to separate? I have told him and emailed him a number of times. I know I have cried wolf many times before but so mean it this time.

Thank you reading and sharing your advice with me.

Wow - makes my solicitor who gave free half hour then charged £175 per hour seem positively cheap!!
I hope the talk goes well.

Thank you! He made it clear he was been qualified since 1992, plus he's a barrister plus he has hair to coiffure!

Will be checking out cheaper options asap, plus if amicable may see if we can go DIY, hopefully, quite unrealistic thinking but you never know?

Also if we can agree on the form E more time any money will be saved BUT I can't even get him to agree that I have just cause to leave.

Will keep sharing if that's ok, any helpful tips?

I'm glad you were able to take a friend along to your meeting, she sounds super supportive.

I think as much as both you and H can agree and cooperate on (if possible) then this involves less solicitor time and less expense.

Good luck with it all, keep asking your supportive friend for help when needed and Your future looks bright.

P69

Thanks P69, yep I have been v lucky in life with my friends, love offering support and thankfully my friends are like minded.

I feel so optimistic about life tonight, that my future is so much brighter than I could have ever dreamed of, my boss asked if I would I ever want to meet anyone else after the D, made me think that all I actually want is someone who truly loves me and vice versa. I want to make the people I love happy which makes me realise DH doesn't love me as he has made me so incredibly sad.