how to tell ex I've moved on

[LadyRivers1]

Recently spilt up from XP after 12 year relationship. Very abusive, physical and emotional and we have two children together. I still have contact with him for the children and have the support of WA, the police and am starting the Freedom Program in January. There has been a lot of harassment since I decided to end it (took four weeks of hell before he moved out) and he's not really left me alone.

Basically, I've got chatting to a guy I went to school with and we met last week and had a kiss and cuddle. I'm not jumping in feet first, just taking it as it comes as both myself and the children have a lot of healing to do. But it got me thinking about how to tell XP. Do I tell him I've met someone for coffee (not the kiss and cuddle part) and would it get him to back off? I really don't think it would, in fact I think it would make him worse. Just looking for some opinions and experiences. Thanks.

I did the freedom program in person.. I would do both if you can find the tenner.. I got a lot from other peoples experiences.. I think it is the start of healing.

With Ex ..Only tell him anything he needs to know about the children.. nothing else.In fact some things such as school reports , etc he can arrange himself..

One thing I learnt the less I told my ex the freer I became..I did things because they were right for me not to prove a point to Ex or what he would think wouldn't influence me

I think because the majority of friends haven't been in situations like this they don't understand it's not as simple as meeting someone else.

Ex has the contact details of the school - apparently I need to be adult enough to inform him of events but he is adult enough to sign up to the text service the school offer.

Starlight I never looked at it that way before - the less I tell him the freer I become. Excellent mantra!

The fact that you've spotted the new man is too pushy and you're going to dump him is a good sign. You're recognizing that you have limits and it's OK to reject people who won't respect them.
As to XP, just minimize contact with him and tell him nothing that isn't to do with DC or finances. your life is not his business any more.