Mumsnet changing my worldview?

[LadyLu87]

Not really a relationship thing directly although it does affect my relationships now!

I never grew up with parents after the age of 13. Abusive stepfather etc etc. So In terms of positive female role models I only had one, my nan, but her views were understandably out of date. I have noticed now thanks to mumsnet addiction that my views as a woman are starting to come into their own and solidify.

What I mean is things in my head seem much more well rounded, assertive, fair. For example being aware of feminism and my right to be treated equally. Challenging unacceptable language in a polite way. Just being more self assured and assertive, but kind. I'm probably not explaining this very well!

I guess I'm trying to say thank you that mumsnet, as a collective, through many many threads etc, has evolved my views and been, effectively, a positive female role model. At the grand old age of 28

I was 39 when i found MN so you've a few years on me!

MN confirmed niggles i always had about relationships/feminism etc.

I successfully bf a baby for nearly a year, thanks to MN!

Thanks MN

I feel the same. Thanks for saying it.

Me too. I was raped, I knew logically it wasn't my fault, I couldn't have predicted or prevented it, but as much as I knew that, I didn't have that emotional connection with it.

Thanks to MN I got help, I finally FEEL what I reasoned to be right.

More than that though, I realised it was normal not to face up to the fact that you'd been raped in a relationship. It means a lot to know that's normal and I'm not a freak.

I owe MN a great deal.

Glad to know MN is helping you.

It has certainly helped me with clarifying my views!

It's great to be part of such a strong community.

I agree. It has been a positive female role model for me too. It's definitely shaped me as a mother and massively helped me identify and break away from family dysfunction.

Me too

Thank you all so, so much.

Phew I'm glad its not just me! I felt a bit silly posting this but by the same token people go to a lot of effort to support others and its nice to know this is appreciated.

I know what you mean re the rape thing. Reading others posts and threads confirmed what I already knew in my heart. That emotionally abusing someone into sex via fear, manipulation, verbal abuse, and many other nasty methods, Is just as much rape as physical force. I knew in my heart what happened to me (although aside from the stuff he did while I was asleep it took me about two years to even realise ). Then I talked it over with a counsellor after reading a few threads on here and thinking 'that happened to me'. It made it click. I had my counselling and since then read all sorts of similar which reinforced it.

This place makes me feel differently about things. I don't have to accept a man who isn't right, just because he has some good qualities. I don't have to accept sexism. I CAN challenge views. And I do. I have learnt so much. I challenged someone 'slut shaming'. I challenged someone who, out of ignorance not nastiness, said 'they aren't right up there' instead of they have special needs. Just generally lots of small things that have crept in over time.

I don't even have kids Although my dogs are harder than anyone's kids I should imagine

Sometimes I struggle though. Everyone on here seems so posh! Not me. Not at all!

The thing that I love about MN is the ability to hear (or see, I suppose) opinions from lots of people who are different to me.

I agree trills. I think it reinforces our own thoughts, whilst challenging them too. By having a big body of female opinion I think you can solidify someone's positive views, and challenge the harmful ones. People take on board what is useful to them

Yes, OP, it's good to acknowledge when people have helped. If I'm honest MN has confirmed - for me - that most current feminist ideology is no longer a cause for campaigning. MN has, however, changed my view about porn. I no longer believe that even the joint viewing of porn with your husband is healthy, let alone solo viewing.

MN has a lot of intelligent and warm women on its site, but the left-leaning liberalism I often find entirely tedious.

Completely agree about the value of seeing so many opinions which might be different to your own; admittedly a few might seem a bit "off the wall" but on the whole I've learned a vast amount

Particularly the correct way to view the mindset of unfaithful husbands ...

MN, via the Stately Homes thread, has given me the strength to go NC with my toxic mother.

I also feel thankful to know that there's a huge community of women here who give their time, energy, compassion and support to other women. I think in that sense it is one of the most giving communities I've ever been a part of.

Mumsnet helped me to see the abuse in my marriage and to report my ex to the police for raping me.

Ex is now in prison!

Mumsnet set me free and gave me the confidence to stand up for myself.

Wow. I kind of started the thread thinking 'I'm just thinking out loud no one will reply' and end up with such wonderful stories of support.

How lovely, and heart warming. Kind of puts a bit of faith back into the human race doesn't it?

I love this site. I expound on its virtues to friends and strangers alike, and always recommend it to new parents as 'an invaluable source of information and support' or whatever it says on the homepage

You can get thought-provoking, intelligent debate here (as well as the occasional Friday night bumsex thread ) and you have the opportunity to share your own experiences (both positive and negative) and possibly buoy another person up and give them the knowledge and strength to get through their own tough situations. I posted here 2 hours after I had DS2 (happy) and I posted on the evening of my mum's funeral (sad/angry). I've posted with small queries about boilers and larger queries about mental health. Whatever support I've neded, someone here has been around to provide it.

I'm such a softy, I am welling up a bit. I honestly don't know how I'd manage without it.

Justine et al

MN has helped me stand up for myself for at times when I might otherwise have accepted some pretty shitty treatment. Thank you MN

Same. I've learnt such a lot. Vented on many an occasion and received advice on some very boring matters. Very useful for giving me perspective and for the window into how other women think about all sort of things.

How nice of you to start this thread. I'm very glad that your confidence and self-esteem have grown.

Mums net helped me have the guts to go for a promotion and big pay rise!

Mumsnet gave me so much support during the HG pregnancy. It's very isolating, HG, sometimes you can't leave your bed for days on end. Lucinda and the others gave so much support that helped carry me through.

I feel exactly the same Thank you Mumsnet!

Wow. How amazing is that. Imagine if only us replied, how many stories like this exist? Mumsnet must have helped thousands of people. This is just wonderful! Jobs, leaving abusive men, confidence building, just wow

I love this site! So many many wonderful smart, strong women on here.

This place is like a refuge for me as I don't have much real life support. I love the blunt language and the freedom to just be a woman as you are.

Most sites online usually have men trying to take over and run everything or trying to impose their words of wisdom on everyone. It gets tedious.

Thanks all of you. Not misting up at all here.

I've learnt about Mrs, Ms and Miss and will now be filling in forms with the title Colonel, well, definitely Ms. Haven't been on here long, so hopefully lots more to learn.