Not sure how much to give here, but went completely no contact with family few years back, after some very hellish times/control/manipulation (that took me ages to realise) etc
Briefly as possible, left home at 15, had major issues - never knew why I was so miserable. Met and ended up in a very abusive relationship. Long story short, 'D'M was happier when I was unhappy. Took a long while to leave. Many problems.
Met wonderful DH some time after, and life is good now 
'D'M wasn't happy. Lots of criticism, tried to stop us going out, but didn't succeed. Any achievements I had were played down, but in such a passive aggressive way you could never tell if it was truly nasty or not. Head screw. Any stately homes people out there will know what I mean.
It took a long time to realise how toxic they were, and this extended to other members. Being in a healthy relationship does wonders for highlighting the toxic ones.
The worst of it came about when the manipulation of our children was getting really nasty. It was almost like they were their children, not ours.
There's so much history, so much nastiness and jealousy/lies/shit stirring/back stabbing. Far too much! Suffice to say, going no contact was one of the best things I have ever done in my life.
Problem is, there is still contact their side. I changed my email address, but they use my work one. I feel like I can't go out as I don't want any confrontation (it's a small place - you always bump into someone). For ages I kept trips to a minimum, but then I got fed up. We took the DC's to the park, and lo and behold, after half and hour, my sister was there. Unbeknown to me, she took a picture of my DC's and sent them to my Narc parents. Which then came a postcard about how much they'd grown!
This isn't even the half of it as far as contact goes on their side.
I have had really awful dreams on and off since the break in contact from our side. Reliving rows, having new rows, really nasty, hurting me, criticising me, taking my DC's away from me, murdering me (yes, that one was especially nasty) things like that. They seem to come in cycles, and usually directly after contact or at a special event/time. I cannot for the life of me get these dreams to stop. I cannot wake up, I cannot change the dream. I go to bed happy, DH and I have lovely evenings, sometimes I read before bed to put happy thoughts in there, I do not think about them at all. But then the dreams come, and they seems to last all night. I don't feel rested at all, and I can't work out how to make them stop.
Has anyone had any experience of this? Going no contact, but still living extremely close by to all family members? Still receiving contact from narc members, and anyone else had bad dreams that you can't control because of this?
Obviously moving would be the answer, but there is no chance of that. Not only that, the DC's are in great schools, so we cannot disrupt their lives, just because I can't deal with the way things are.
Any ideas? x
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No contact - nightmare family - still having bad dreams - any advice? (stately homes type thread)
CarrieLouise25 · 10/10/2015 18:53
I had horrendous vivid slasher nightmares with DM as the perpetrator when I went NC. They weren't the only ones but they where the worst. I assumed it was my mind processing all the crap I had internalised or simply didn't "see" over the years.
They do die down, let yourself deal with them first. I know for me that any contact triggered more anxiety and nightmares. Contact for me was letters, emails, phonecalls and flying monkeys. Each one triggered another bout of dreams.
I'm a few years further down the road than you and while I still become anxious when I receive a handwritten letter I rarely get nightmares at all (except once when I saw dm in a shop). So it does get easier.
Stand firm on the nc and they will stop hoovering. 
Thanks Meerka - we're very excited
Thanks something2say - and yes, I think we're going to keep a diary of contact and events so we have something to show if we go down that route. I did the same with my ex, and it worked so well when I went to the solicitor, I had so much evidence, exact dates and details.
Ataraxy - wow, I'm so glad you shared your dreams with me, thank you. I had the slasher dream, same person in mine, and I thought there was something really wrong with me after that. Yes, we have letters, emails and flying monkeys.
Good to know it dies down; I don't regret going NC for one second. I feel free.
I bumped into someone (typically) again when I ventured out, and she's actually really lovely, but happens to be best friends with my sister (my sister picks lovely people to use and walk over...) and she was so pleased to see me. I hid my bump quite well, but she kept saying how well I looked and whatever I was doing, she wanted the secret...I just said I was happy
Don't know what's been said about me behind my back, but I can imagine everyone thinks I'm supposed to be some nasty recluse weirdo who has 'lost it'. I know there were lots of emails flying about at the time of the NC, telling other family and friends how awful and nasty I was being to dear old parents.
Feeling a lot better, and a lot more normal about things. Still don't like the anxiety over contact, but I'm sure it will get better x
Yeah my DM gathered the rest of the family together to put forward her case that the only reason I would go NC was because I was insane and everyone should pressurise my then husband to have me committed. What a charmer!
One only family member keeps in contact now. Its irregular and under DMs radar but its nice.
Like you I am much happier in NC and also felt that sense of freedom. We may be battered and bruised but we made it. 
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