Relationship with DM

[Scottishgymnast]

I'm fully prepared to be told to get over myself.........

I have 2 DC and my DM has a cousin who has 1 DC. For a few years every time I speak to DM she tells me about some (minor and perfectly normal) "difficulty" that this cousin is having with her baby and now toddler. DM also needs to tell me how amazing this cousin is, how she doesn't like to complain but you know whatever (regular) difficulty she is going through its really tough for her blah blah. Now I wouldn't mind but I've also been through my share of tough times husband worked abroad when kids were small, financial problems and other things and received little sympathy.

I'm aware that I sound jealous and maybe I am but my question is what can I do to stop all this chat from my DM without sounding like a spoilt child. I feel it's impacting on our relationship and I just don't really want to know how amazing this cousin is as it just reminds me how little support I got when things were tough.

I have this type of situation and I can only say that you give nonconmittal "oh" type of comments. Then change the subject, breezy, light, move on. And do it again and again. It sounds like you have some resentment towards your mother for not supporting you and either you can confront her at a separate time about that or choose to let it go. Choosing to let it go is empowering and it is a choice you can make.

Non committal responses sounds sensible. I'm not sure letting it go is something I can do but you make an interesting point and it has made me think. Thank you for replying.