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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I need a mum!! Anyone else??

7 replies

sleepthruthenite · 02/12/2006 19:43

I'm the mother of two beautiful girls dd1 is 3, and dd2 is 6 months.
My mum moved away, to be with my sister and her husband and their son (my mum's first grandson - and at the time I couldn't have children - and yes I am bitter!). It's too far to visit in one day, and even harder now dd1 is at pre-school 3 days per week.
My mother-in-law, lives closer, but is a bit useless i.e. can't get anywhere without her husband, and everything has to be planned -theres certainly no 'just popping in for a cuppa' type of visits. I've never really fitted in with the 'clich' of the rest of my in-laws, so don't get invited to their shopping trips etc....
I guess what I'm saying is I get a bit lonely from time to time......and would love a mum! Anyone else the same?? Got any words of wisdom??

OP posts:
joanna4 · 02/12/2006 19:52

Pre school is 3 days a week it isnt gonna drop off the end of the world if your child misses to go have some quality time with grandma and you with your mum.Could you not book in somewhere make a long weekend of it all if time and money allows.If she lived closer you might not see her all the time as you believe you might mine lives 6 doors away and we can go days and days without meeting.Could you maybe ask her to come and stay.
Sorry you feel so rough are you able to call her or get her signed up to msn have a time each night when you have a brew and a chat perhaps use a webcam.

Original poster
sleepthruthenite · 02/12/2006 19:58

You are right, you are right. I could and should make more time to visit her (even with dd1 missing pre-school every now and again). Just feel sorry for myself (and kids) that we don't have a mum/nan type figure around on a regular basis (and of course, I'm bitter that my sister gets it, and I don't!).............and I'm well aware that I should be grateful for what I do have, as I could certainly be alot worse off.
I still get a bit sad though.

OP posts:
Chandra · 02/12/2006 19:59

My mother is a 16-24 hrs flight away, although she can not baby sit I spoke with her once a week sometimes for more than an hour, so I don't miss her that much. If I feel bad, I ring her more often.

I feel, sometimes, desperate to have more family around but I'm sure that if I had it I would be complaining about all those little annoying things people complain about when they have the family too near

Original poster
sleepthruthenite · 02/12/2006 20:02

Thats it Chandra, just a longing for family around me. I hear people moan and groan about the 'in-laws' or 'parents' came over again.........and I want to shout 'I'D LOVE THAT'!!

OP posts:
mistletoemania · 02/12/2006 21:14

me lovely mum has alzheimers and i am a flight away from her. oh to have my mum in fine form for one day. to enjoy her grandchildren and talk to. you are very lucky to have your mum of sound mind. Christmas is hard when you are sperated from family make a new years resolution to go visit her atleast once a month. invite her down too and prebook with in-laws make a visit there a regular thing you are married to son etc....... or just leave kids there and take some time out for you. merry christmas have a good one!!

Chandra · 02/12/2006 21:16

My sister seems to have achieved a perfect balance, she lives 5 hours away, and visits my mother for the weekend once a month. If my mother or my sister have too much time on their hands they visit each other for the night. Sister says that she likes visiting but being around for more than 3 days is certainly trying!

paddingtonbear1 · 02/12/2006 21:32

my mum isn't around anymore, and my dad lives 1 1/2 hrs away - in-laws 3 hrs away! I do wish my dad lived closer, but he visits for 1 day every couple of weeks, sometimes more often. Or we go and see him for a day. With my in-laws we take it in turns to visit each other every other month, so we see them once a month for a whole weekend. could you do something like that with your sister/mum?
dd goes to nursery except on a tuesday, when I don't work, so my dad often comes then.

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