Is it time to give up?

[SleeptightDaisy]

I think I've had enough the arguments, the silent treatment and the moaning. But I gave up my job when I had my ds 3 years ago and I've since had a Dd aged 8 months. We can't seem to go two/three days without falling out and shouting and I think it's starting to affect our ds. I don't know if we're in a cycle of thinking the worst of each other and it's too hard to break or we actually are beginning to dislike each other. It seems as everything I do or he does annoys the other.

I'm scared about making a break without the security of a job, which I know is a selfish reason to stay and I'm not sure I want to give up on a relationship of 20 years.

So you were together 17 years before having kids? How was it before they came along?

Have you discussed together that you're not able to communicate in a positive way at the moment?

2 young dc is very stressful and most relationships suffer at that time.

Yes together for 17 years before having children both of which were planned. We had our ups and downs like any relationship but were happy, we seemed to get on better before the children. We have tried to discuss it but even that ends in an argument, either as dh believes he's been blamed for everything so will start shouting, swearing that I'd better do everything as he's useless or I feel nothing's ever good enough I've always done something wrong. Dh will then often not speak which can last for hours and the odd day. It seems like a never ending circle of argument OK for a couple of days then another argument.

This sounds like me and my ex, and that you're both in a cycle of the same routine day in day out.
Please listen to what I'm about to say, and understand as I've been in your shoes. The bad air between you both does affect your kids. My ex & I did the shouting thing, it was only after he left that I found out the kids were upset about it happening (and TBH glad that he's gone).
Do you want to work it out with him? or has something irrevocably changed between you both?
If you decide to make the break, it's a hard choice to make, but you will find you can do it, you're a Mum and with it comes the strength to fight for your kids and what is right.

Well if you have 17 years of work experience, you should manage to get another job