Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What would you say?

54 replies

MissApple · 06/10/2015 20:27

Ive just started online dating. Im not a walk over or a fool, but in response to a wink, he asked me 'Why no photo?' I replied I had just created an account and he then sent me his number to send him a photo. I declined and said that I dont randomly give out my number and could we chat a bit first?? H then said 'I'm not chatting to a mystery. Upload a photo . What do you think I am?'

What would you do/say??

OP posts:
SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 06/10/2015 20:28

Tell him you'll upload a photo shortly.

Then upload a photo.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 06/10/2015 20:29

And/or ignore him.

And upload a photo.

akaWisey · 06/10/2015 20:30

In the days when I was OLD I wouldn't chat to a bloke who didn't have a photo for precisely the reason he is giving you.
Why don't you just upload a photo, OP?

akaWisey · 06/10/2015 20:30

x-posted with Small - yep, upload a photo Grin

Original poster
MissApple · 06/10/2015 20:31

im shy

OP posts:
Handywoman · 06/10/2015 20:32

Eh? OLD is brutal - but you're either in or you're out?

Upload a photo!

Only1scoop · 06/10/2015 20:32

Ugh ignore ignore ignore

Way pushy sending his number and asking for photos.

Only1scoop · 06/10/2015 20:33

Yes upload a photo though....

Original poster
MissApple · 06/10/2015 20:34

I will upload one and tell you what happens!! Lol!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 06/10/2015 20:35

Upload one but don't carry on with that guy - he sounds aggressive and rude.

You can usually set your account so that your photo's hidden but if you like someone, they get sent your photo.

Original poster
MissApple · 06/10/2015 20:36

Your photo is being moderated...Hmm

OP posts:
ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 06/10/2015 20:42

Why the ...Hmm ?

They moderate all photos.

I wouldn't chat someone without a photo either.

AnyFucker · 06/10/2015 20:45

Does he think he is being masterful ? Hmm

The only response he would get from me would be Fuck and Off

I don't think I would be cut out for OLD, tbh

HellKitty · 06/10/2015 20:50

In my experience a guy with no photo is either attached or married. But be careful, if you're new to the site you'll probably get inundated with guys who've been there forever. Forever for a reason.

Original poster
MissApple · 06/10/2015 20:56

Folkgirl The Hmm was because I wasnt sure what to do about matey boy now. He may think Im playing hard to get!

OP posts:
gatewalker · 06/10/2015 20:58

If you're worried about that, then message him and tell him it's being moderated. And if he's not prepared to wait, then he's not worth messaging in the first place.

HellonHeels · 06/10/2015 20:58

Why would you want to chat with him? He sounds rude and pushy.

wannaBe · 06/10/2015 21:03

OLD wouldn't be for me, but given the amount of people I know who have met up with guys who haven't been anything like they claimed to be i.e. twenty years older than they claimed I can see why he would want to see a photo.

If someone came on here saying that a guy didn't have a picture people would be telling her to not bother with him.

Fwiw I have a friend who didn't have a picture on his profile and who got loads of messages, until he uploaded one, at which point the messages stopped. Sad OLD is indeed a very shallow and superficial place, but there are also a lot of fakes so I can see why someone would want to see a picture also.

Cabrinha · 06/10/2015 21:07

I wouldn't say anything. Ignore and block. It's fine to prefer a photo. It's fine to ask. It's fine to ASK to swap numbers immediately.
It is not fine to be rude.

AnyFucker · 06/10/2015 21:08

It's ok to hold out for a photo, but to be such a pushy cock about it ?

off putting

Original poster
MissApple · 06/10/2015 21:10

Yeah I thought it a ittle off, but you can rarely get the gist of a text. I may email him and see what he says!

Hang on...

OP posts:
Original poster
MissApple · 06/10/2015 21:15

OK, I said

I get that I don't have a photo up, I have a good reason. Your message sounded a bit curt and demanding, maybe you didnt mean it to be like that, but it came across like that. I suspect you have been messed about on here. Id so, don't judge me on the others!

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 06/10/2015 21:15

Really you'd email him? He was downright rude and aggressive. To do OLD, you have to be brutal in walking away from wankers.

Only1scoop · 06/10/2015 21:16

Oh no don't email him

Next

Cabrinha · 06/10/2015 21:17

If what you put was exactly what he sent you, honestly I think you're silly to engage with him.
First rule of OLD: just cos they talk to you, you don't have to talk back.